


Us

by Leilani5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bottom Dean, M/M, Obsession/Possession, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Sam, Tragic Love Story, True Love, loving family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 42
Words: 24,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6818080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leilani5/pseuds/Leilani5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean went to celebrate their engagement at a reclusive snowy mountain lodge. Happiness turned into disaster and their love for each other was tested endlessly. Will they find the strength to fight through this ordeal or will they give up on each other entirely, eventually?</p><p>(Based on a true story)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first Sam/Dean fic but not Wincest.
> 
> Hope you guys will like it and I apologise in advance for the constant editing later including the summary! Thank you for reading...:))

Edited***

"He said yes?!!" Charlie's eyes and mouth widened in surprise at the news Sam just gave.

"Yes!!" Sam confirmed excitedly. Charlie's enthusiasm was contagious.

"Oh, Sam!! I'm so happy for you!! You've waited so long for this to happen!" Charlie exclaimed.

"I know, Charlie. It still felt so unreal, you know, but last night was the most magical night of my life. Everything was so wonderful that even Gabriel's guitar serenade was in tune!" Sam laughed recalling last night's event.

The love of his life, the winsome Dean Winchester had said yes to his proposal.

They went on talking about Sam's evening with his fiance all the way to the campus parking lot where Dean was waiting. 

It was February 1984, and it was winter break next week. The kids were so happy that they started talking about their plans. Sam surprised Dean with a trip to Big Bear Lake and was now showing both his lover and best friend the brochure he got from the travel agency.

"Awwww man!! I'm so jealous!!" Charlie whined as she flipped through the leaflet, looking at the displays of the beautiful scenery of the California mountain.

"Why don't you come with us, Charlie? We could snowboard together. It will be fun!" Dean said, and Sam nodded in agreement.

"And...you could be our driver while we snuggled together in the backseat cause of the cold!" Sam joked, and Dean nudged his stomach with his elbow.

"Aww!! Baby, that hurts!" Sam yelped. Dean just laughed softly at him, while Charlie said that it served him right.

Soon they parted ways and wished each other good luck before Sam took Dean home in his car. While driving Sam's right hand held Dean's left hand all the way. Every, now and then he played with the ring on Dean's finger. The warm feeling he felt last night hasn't waned, and his love radiated through his touches. 

Dean squeezed their hands together, reassuring his fiance of their love for each other. These are one of the special moments that people won't get to witness. While Sam was always ready to show the world his fiance, Dean was just the opposite. He loved Sammy with all his heart, but he's also very shy at times. The only person who knew the extent of their romance was Charlie and Dean's mom, Mary.

It was the 80s and homosexuality was still frowned upon. So the lodging that Sam booked was a perfect retreat, tucked in the woods, away from prying eyes. He can't wait to be alone with Dean in the small hut surrounded by all the beautiful pine trees laden with snow. Winter was Dean's favorite season. Dean was grateful for his handsome and thoughtful fiance that he can't wait either. Dean was most passionate when they're alone together.

"I miss you. I'll see you tomorrow morning alright, baby," Sam whispered in Dean's ear as he held the blond boy close in his car. Dean nodded and kissed his fiance's cheek. "I love you, Sammy, so much."


	2. Chapter 2

Edited***

"What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?" Mary asked as she began to prepare dinner after Dean told her about the surprise trip.

"Sam said to be ready by nine. Mom? What are you making?" he asked, looking at the unusual ingredients on the counter top. 

"Ah! Your mama is gonna try her hands on an exotic delicacy called the Beef and Lamb Kofta!" Mary replied cheerfully. 

"Where did you get the recipe?!" he asked again, smiling curiously.

"Your father's co-worker's wife from Turkey shared it with me. They came last week for a short visit during lunch before driving up to San Francisco. She said that I should try since your father loved meat so much!" Mary laughed as she grabbed the big bowl of mixed minced meat and added the dry ingredients to it.

"Well, mom, whatever you make always turn out delicious! I can't wait to eat it. I wanna help you but let me wash my hands and face first alright? Love you mom." Dean kissed his mother's cheek and rushed to the bathroom.

Mary smiled as she remembered how happy her son was when he came home last night after dinner at Gabriel's, Sam's cousin. Dean told his mama excitedly, every detail of the event. Sam had surprised Dean with the proposal that had all the three boys in tears.

Dean told her about the perfect setting done by his fiance and Gabriel, who was two years older than them. Both Dean and Sam are in their final year in the CSUN University where Gabriel went to before.

Gabriel was a part time musician in a pub in West Hollywood, and it was his idea to serenade the lovebirds last night. The surprised look on Dean's face when he went upstairs to the balcony was priceless. 

The blond was greeted with cheerful festive lights hung all over the railings, a bottle of champagne with two flute glasses on the table, accompanied by delicious dinner servings made by their gracious host, Gabriel. 

The always cheerful Gabriel serenaded them with his guitar while Sam went on his knees asking Dean if he would marry him. Dean in tears said yes in a heartbeat. His love for Sam amplified since that night and knew that there will be no one who could love him like Sam does. From the moment they met, Sam had been a wonderful boyfriend and never failed to make him happy. 

Mary told John about their engagement that morning after Dean left for campus and was glad that her husband approved. John agreed that they went to some place quiet together away from curious people. It's not their business to know about the boys private lives, he said.

"Mom??" Dean asked worriedly at his mother who seemed distracted. "Oh hey, baby! Sorry! I was thinking about you and Sammy." she replied hurriedly, smiling away.

"Are you happy for us, Mama?" he asked softly. Mary smiled lovingly at him and crooned,"I'm so deliriously happy, my love." 

They hugged for a moment and began preparing dinner. John will be home from work soon. Dean will have to tell his father about his plans after graduation. Sam wanted to rent a place for them to live together till they have enough to buy a home. The boys lived close to each other, and both their parents were glad they agreed to live with them instead of the dorm on campus. They all rather saved the money on more important things like the children's future.

While there were joy and excitement in Dean's household, Sam's was totally the opposite. Ellen was Sam's aunt and she was apprehensive. She was mad at her nephew for not telling her about his engagement and his trip prior. 

Sam said that if he told his aunt, she would call her best friend Mary and ruined his surprise. Ellen was about to bite his head off when Sam quickly backpedaled. "I'm so sorry! I don't mean to hurt you, but I hope you understand. You and Mary are the best moms in the world, and I know you guys will want to do something for us instead, which! I don't mind, but I wanted something simple last night. I hope you will give us your blessings, Aunt Ellen."

Ellen gave him a tight-lipped smile and said, "Of course, I do. But I want to be involved in your wedding and don't you two dared elope, you hear?!"

"I wouldn't dare!" Sam laughed as Ellen smacked his head on the back.

"Do you have everything packed? Make sure you have all the necessary items like Torchlight or candles in case the light went out. I don't understand why you chose to stay in a lodge so deep in the forest, away from civilization, Sammy. It's dangerous!" Ellen nagged for the umpteenth time that night. She knew why her nephew chose that place, to be alone with his lover but she was worried if they will be out of reach and asked Sam for the telephone number of the lodge owner next.

"Aunt, please don't worry. Dean and I are gonna be okay. I promise I will call you the minute we get there, alright? Love you!" He laughed lightly as he kissed Ellen's head before she could say anything and walked out of the kitchen. 

Ellen shook her head and walked to the fridge, to get dinner started. Her mind couldn't stop worrying about the boys trip to the snowy mountains. There's no one else she can talk to about her concern but Mary, but she didn't want to alarm her Friend with her overly cautious nature.

Oh well, Sam's a responsible kid though very playful at times, she thought and went about her tasks in the kitchen. Tried as she might, she couldn't erase the uneasy feeling in her heart till she went to bed that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Both Sam and Dean couldn't sleep that night. They were so excited for their trip, and Sam has called the cabin owner, Mr. Robert Singer, earlier to confirm their check-in time. Mr. Singer who insisted that Sam called him Bob was a quiet man with a southern drawl. 

Bob moved to Big Bear Lake a few years ago to build that cabin and rent it out to tourists while he lived in the town area. Sam was attracted with the reasonable rent and moderately equipped accommodation. He was also excited about the winter sports that they both going to indulge in.

The boys had packed all the canned foods in their bags at their family insistence though Sam had planned to take his fiance to the restaurants up there. They hoped that this trip will be the first of many in their relationship. 

Sam had his five-year plan set out and can't wait to share with Dean the new place that he found perfect for them later. It was a small house near to their family and friends which he knew Dean would love. 

There's nothing Sam wouldn't do for his fiance and vice versa, for Dean gave him the best love anyone would want in their lives. He opened himself up to Sam despite his shyness and loved Sam fiercely in return.

Sam and Dean thanked the heavens for their loving and supportive friends and family, good education that promises good careers and of course their love for each other. They wished for their beautiful life will only get better in the future. 

Neither could predict the tragedy that was waiting for them in the midst of their happiness.

Morning came, and Dean kissed his mom before rushing out the door to meet Sam. The taller boy was arranging the trunk in his car, to make room for Dean's duffle bag.

"Don't forget to call us, boys!!" Mary shouted as she smiled and waved at them.

"We will Mom!!" Dean replied and Sam came over to Mary and gave her a hug and kiss. 

"Be safe," she said, and Sam nodded against her shoulder before letting go.

They had a two-hour drive ahead of them and hoped to reach there on time. Their journey was filled with excitement as they left the dry earth below and welcomed the snowy mountains before them. The sight was so majestic that they both sighed happily. Sam stopped the car momentarily for them to get out and played with the snow. They both can't wait to enjoy the beauty that surrounded them.

It was around noon that they finally arrived at the cabin, greeted by Bob who gave them a warm welcome and tour of the place. It was rural and looked exactly, as portrayed in the brochure. The fireplace was working, and Dean hurried to warm his hands while Sam, his wet jeans bottoms. Bob laughed softly at their antics. 

"My contact number is next to the phone. Please don't hesitate to call me if you need help, alright?. It's pretty far out here but safe, so don't worry. Enjoy your stay boys!" Bob said smiling as he passed the keys to Sam and walked out.

They thanked their host and embraced each other the moment Bob was out the door. 

"I'm so happy, Sammy and I know that we just got here, but I don't wanna ever leave." Dean confided, and Sam kissed him softly on the lips. 

"Me too but don't worry, baby cause we will be living together sooner than you think," Sam whispered in his fiance's ear.

Dean pulled away a little and looked curiously at Sam, "What do you mean?"

"I won't tell you now cause it's supposed to be a surprise," Sam said and smiled, knowingly.

"Oh come, tell me, please, Sammy?" Dean implored with his big green eyes gazing into Sam's.

Sam couldn't deny that pretty face so he told Dean about the rental place he got for them after their graduation and Dean thanked him with joyful words. Sam's heart warmed seeing the happiness in his fiance that he hastily pulled the exhilarated blond into his arms. 

"I love you so much, Dean. I want us to always be together. Promise me, my love." 

"I promise, Sam," Dean replied softly, as they began kissing and made out on the carpeted floor in front of the fireplace.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's so peaceful and quiet here," Dean whispered as he laid his head on Sam's chest. The only sound they heard was their own breathing and the crackling of the fire in the hearth.

"Yeah, it is. I'm so glad we got this place, baby." Sam replied as he idly ran his fingers through Dean's hair. His fiance had kept it a little longer this time. Sam thought it made Dean looked much younger and more adorable.

"Thank you again, Sammy. What time is it now?" Dean asked as he turned his head to look at the clock in the wooden wall.

"It's almost one-thirty, Dean. Why? Are you getting hungry?" Sam asked as he turned Dean's face towards him. 

"Kinda," Dean replied as he kissed Sammy's palm softly.

"Come on, let's go to town. Maybe we can book our sessions for tomorrow morning at the Snow Summit." Sam said as he pulled his fiance up and kissed him on the lips chastely.

The atmosphere in town was a far cry from their cabin in the woods, but they welcomed the hustle and bustle from both the happy tourists and locals alike. The bright blue sky above them and the pristine white snow on the trees added beauty to the picturesque little town.

The boys had been there a few times with their family, but it was their first time alone together. They had so much fun, buying small souvenirs and eating lunch at the Himalayan Indian Restaurant, planning their itineraries excitedly while refraining themselves from touching each other as there were other guests with little children around them. Sam yearned to hold Dean's hand across the table while Dean wanted so much to pull Sam's face and kissed him soundly.

The sexual tension was overwhelming that Sam signaled for the bill in haste, and they both left the restaurant immediately after he paid. As they were leaving town, to drive back to their cabin, a black car stopped next to them at the traffic.

One of it's passengers saw Dean and his interest piqued when he saw the blond leaned towards Sam and stole a kiss from his mouth.

That man was Michael, the younger brother of Ray, the passenger in the front seat. Theo, his brother's best friend, drove them to the mountain with a sole intention, to rob the tourists. 

Both men were busy arguing with each other to notice Michael's strange behavior at the back. He was whimpering against the window while palming his groin and stared hard at Dean before both their cars pulled away in separate directions.

Michael was a closet case. Only his brother knew about his sex orientation. So Ray had time and again warned Michael not to let his feelings or admiration for men shows in front of his best friend. Ray wouldn't know how Theo would act if he found out that his brother was gay. 

Sometimes, Ray wished that he left Michael with their mother's care in Nebraska. His younger brother will be safer there, and life could be normal for him even when it's poor. Michael didn't seem to fit in their group. Theo and Ray looked like thugs, but Michael has a face of an angel. He was quiet and gentle while they were loud and abrasive. 

Ray tried to persuade Theo many times to let Michael off their wicked schemes, but the ringleader wouldn't hear of it. Theo demanded that they needed Michael's innocent looks to lure their victims to the money and that no one will open their fucking door if they saw either Theo or Ray in the peepholes. 

Ray knew the arguments they were having now over Michael's welfare was a moot point, so he stopped bringing the subject up anymore. Plus Theo possessed a gun, and Ray knew that the ex-convict will have no qualms about pulling the trigger when he had to. Theo was a menace with a terrible temper to match. No one dared to cross the huge monster who stood at almost six foot three tall. 

They've been driving across the states, acting on their evil deeds along the way, not staying more than a night in a motel to avoid being sniffed out by the authorities.

It was Theo's idea to come up to Big Bear since it's the winter holiday and most Californians will stay in their cozy cabins for that week. The key, he said to both men was to rob smaller families in private lodgings at night.

Ray had hoped that he could arrange for Michael, to escape Theo's clutches for good this time.


	5. Chapter 5

The lovers spend the rest of the afternoon in bed, whispering sweet nothings, making passionate love to each other, and falling asleep in between, lulled by the serenity of winter. 

They felt secluded yet safe from the rest of the world in their little hideaway. Once in a while, they could hear the soft howling wind that blew through the trees outside their closed windows. The fire had almost died in the hearth, and the room began to lose it's warmth.

Dean shivered a little in his sleep, beneath the soft woven blanket, and Sam pulled his lover closer to his body and enveloped him from behind. Dean smiled at the comforting warmth radiated from his lover. 

He stayed in Sam's hold for awhile before slowly turning his body to face his fiance and smiled. Sam opened his eyes and smiled back at him before saying, "Hi..." Dean laughed softly and said, "Hello.." 

He remembered that was how it was the first time the met. In fact, the other few times after that because that's all the response Sam ever got from the shy blond. But Sam was resilient and never gave up on Dean. 

He tried everything to get Dean's attention and take him out on a date. It took him a while, but it was worth it. Dean too had been building up his courage to speak to Sam, one of the most popular boys in their high school. Sam was funny, charismatic and intelligent that he was always swarmed by friends and admirers all the time. 

Dean has a few friends who were just like him, quiet and unassuming till Charlie Bradbury joined his classes during his sophomore year. The dainty redhead made Dean comfortable with her engaging demeanor and Sam, who noticed the effect she had on the blond, sought her help in bringing them together.

Charlie was more than happy to be their matchmaker, and thus the three became very close to one another very soon after the boys started dating.

Unfortunately for Charlie, she was in love with a girl named Jessica but everyone knew that the pretty blond had her eyes only for Sam. Dean often wondered why Sam chose him instead of Jessica that he asked his lover a few times about it. Sam and Jessica were very close till Dean came into the picture. 

Everyone in school was shocked when they found out that Sam dated Dean instead of Jessica, even Jessica herself. She mistook Sam's affection for romance all this time, and so she slowly distanced herself from him. It was the hardest thing for Sam when he found out that his best friend had feelings for him, and he had to tell her about Dean.

Jessica had cried but said that she understood and wished both of them good luck in their relationship. Not everyone would understand their kind of love and Jessica gave them the support they needed by being gracious about it though she stopped dating other guys after that.

"I'm sorry that we can't be ourselves in public. Do you....do you regret having me in your life instead of Jess, Sam?" Dean asked unsure of his own question.

Sam frowned but kissed his lover's forehead and said, "Never, Dean. What can I do or say to make you believe in my love for you? I chose you, I want to marry you, build a life with you and hoped that one day we could adopt babies too." 

"I wanted all of that too, Sammy. But you can't be normal with me. Does it not bother you when we can't even hold hands?" Dean reiterated, looking at Sam's worried eyes for answers.

"Does it bother you, Dean? Cause I want to hold and kiss you baby but you're always worried about what people might think." Sam said earnestly. There were times when Sam tried to put his arms around Dean's waist or held his hand in public, but Dean always shied away from his touches. 

Sam was never offended because he knew how much Dean loved him but his fiance's insecurities could drive him insane at times. Sam even spoke of moving them to San Francisco instead where they can be free to be each other, but Dean didn't want to live too far from his mother and their best friend, Charlie.

"I'm sorry, my love. I promise I won't bring it up again, alright?" Dean said as he moved closer to Sam's body. 

"No need for apologies, Dean. I love you, and we have each other now and that all that matters alright?" Sam assured, and Dean just nodded in agreement.

"How about we stay in tonight and I make us a nice canned dinner?" Sam said, and Dean chuckled softly.

"Sounds good, baby and I think the snow storm's coming tonight like Bob said."


	6. Chapter 6

"Well?" Ray asked the moment Michael entered the car.  
"There are no more rooms available. The entire town's hotels probably fully booked for the skiers." Michael retorted. He was mad because his brother and Theo made him checked all the hotels and motels along the road while they waited comfortably in the warm car. 

It was getting colder, and the rain has begun to fall. The inn owner had advised him to look for some accommodation in the woods instead and if not, it's best that Michael just drive back down for the snow storm's coming and it's hell if he doesn't have any place to stay. 

Michael conveyed this message to his gang, and they looked at one another wearily.

"I guess he's right. Don't wanna be caught in this freezing hail, we'll just turn back then" Theo said to Ray and Michael immediately interrupted before his brother replied.

"NO! We're here already! Let's just wait out or look for that cabin in the woods, now before the snow start falling!." Michael exclaimed, shocking the two men who were staring at him now. He even shocked himself with the words he just uttered. It's like he forgotten the boss, Theo's existence. They didn't know that Michael hoped to see Dean again. He knew the pretty boy was still around. 

"You got some balls talking to us like that, boy!! Ray, drive us to the woods and You.." Theo pointed his finger at Michael, "better find us that cabin, or you'll see what I'll do to you." he warned. 

"What's that?" Sam asked looking at the skewered meat in the plastic container. 

"Oh. That's Kofta. It's a mixed of beef and lamb dish from Turkey, my mom made yesterday. I just gonna grill it in the pan, they're so freaking delicious, baby." Dean grinned as he turned up the stove. 

"Awesome! I heard of Koftas, and I know Mary made it better." Sam praised as he hugged Dean from behind and whispered in his ear "You know I'm so glad for the storm tonight so that we will have thick snow at the Summit tomorrow." 

"Yeah me too. I can't wait, Sammy." Dean said as he turned and gave his fiance a brief kiss. 

Sam pulled Dean's face back and kissed him deeply. "I can't wait for tonight either, my love" he confessed as he gazed into Dean's eyes.

"I love you, Sammy." 

The koftas was forgotten momentarily as they made out on the kitchen counter.

"FUCK!!! IT'S FUCKING FREEZING OUT THERE!!" Michael cursed as he rubbed his gloved hands furiously together. It was getting darker and the snow was falling relentlessly.

"SO IS THERE VACANCY, MIKEY?!!" Theo shouted as he was getting pissed at the boy too. 

"YES!!!" He retorted as Theo quickly parked his car next to the inn. 

They were not that far from Sam and Dean's cabin.


	7. Chapter 7

The smoke coming from the stove made the boys stopped kissing finally. They laughed as Sam threw the pan into the sink and turned on the tap hurriedly.  
"Well, that's a nice compliment pan!" Sam joked as Dean pulled out another pan to grill the Koftas.

"I really can't get anything done with you around!" Dean laughed as he complained.

"It's your fault that you're so distracting, Winchester!" Sam replied jokingly as he walked towards the den and poked the burning wood in the hearth.

"Wow! It's really snowing heavily out there, baby. I hope my car's not gonna be caked with hard snow tomorrow." Sam said as he looked out the window.

"Why don't you cover it with the canvas? Bobby said it's in the closet next to the door." Dean supplied as he continued to grill the meat.

"Alright! I'm gonna leave the door open a little, okay?" Sam said as he grabbed the material and ran into the darkness with his jacket over his head.

While Sam was spreading the canvas over his car, he saw a tiny light flickered at a distance. Curious he walked out of the compound of the cabin and moved closer to see where the light came from.

To his surprise, he saw that it was a broken sign above a small inn. So they're not really alone, after all, he thought but knew they still have the privacy as there were trees and bushes between their cabin and that dilapidated building.

"Where did you go?!" Dean greeted him anxiously at the door.  
"Oh baby, I'm sorry. There was a light over there, and I went to check it out. It was an old inn." Sam said as he shut the door behind him.  
"You got me worried when I can't find you outside, Sammy. Next time tell me when you wanna do something like that!" Dean balked. Panic, apparent on his face.

"I'm sorry, I won't do anything like that again. I promise, alright, sweetheart?" Sam consoled as he held Dean tight. He could feel his fiance's heart beating fast.

Michael locked himself in the bathroom after Theo and Ray fell asleep in the twin beds. Michael has to take the couch as usual, but he didn't mind this time. His mind, totally consumed with the gorgeous blond in the blue car earlier. 

That boy was a homosexual, and he dared to kiss his boyfriend in public. Oh, they're in the car, but so what! It's broad daylight and the streets were busy with people. Michael's head was busy replaying the kissing scene and wished that it was him that the boy had kissed instead. 

He could only see the side of the blonde's face, but it was enough to make him feel enamored. Michael could only imagine them facing each other. Would he be attracted to Michael too? Michael knew that he was attractive, but most people avoided him saying that he's strange behind his back. 

He looked closely into the mirror and saw pale skin, dark haired and gray eyed boy staring back at him. Man. He's a man! He chided himself. Theo was fond of calling him Boy and he hated it so much. Michael was a 22-year-old man, he reminded himself.

He pulled his pants down abruptly and held his engorged cock in his hand while he kept staring at himself in the mirror. That blond would love a man's cock. His cock. Those beautiful bowed lips wrapped around his organ as Michael fucked his mouth in and out. 

His delusional thoughts brought him to ecstasy that he bit his lips hard to subdue the moans that escaped his mouth.

Michael cried as he shuddered and ejaculated hard onto the sink.

The nameless blonde's face etched into his memory all night long.


	8. Chapter 8

Michael couldn't sleep a wink that night till the early hours of the morning came. Mainly because of the object of his affection and also the loud snores coming from both men who were sleeping soundly in bed. 

Michael looked at them with disgust. They went to bed with the same clothes with shoes and all. Didn't even bother to wash up considering the long trip they made since Colorado. 

He looked at the clock on the wall, it was 6 in the morning, and its still pitched dark outside. The storm has subsided, and Michael thought that maybe he could drive the car around. Maybe he could catch the blonde around town. The boy looked like a college kid and the license plate on the car was California. 

Michael wondered which part they came from and with new excitement, he quickly got up and made his way to the bathroom. He dressed quietly, choosing the best clothes he had in his bag, making sure he looked like a college kid himself. 

Michael then went to the desk and wrote a simple note to his brother saying that he took the car to get them the things for their heist later. Then he grabbed the car keys and left the room. The sound of the car's engine purring didn't even wake the two men in bed. 

He drove the car slowly along the narrow snowy path with the headlights on. It was a terribly bumpy ride that he almost wanted to turn back around. 

As the car went further, Michael saw a glimpse of a yellow tarp in front of a small cabin. He can't see the car beneath it because it was too dark. 

Michael wanted to stop and check but thought against it. It's best that he leave now before Theo and Ray found out that he took the car and tried to run after him in the snow. The image made him laugh that he continued driving happily onto the main road ahead.

Sam woke up at the sound of the alarm clock. He had it set at 6.30 am last night. Dean stirred in his sleep and pulled the thick comforter to cover his head. The deafening sound of the alarm made him groaned in frustration. Sam laughed softly at his lover and turned the offensive thing off before spooning Dean from behind. 

"Wake up, gorgeous. We have to go before it gets super crowded later. I wanna rent the best equipment up there." Sam spoke in Dean's ear before kissing it. 

"I'm tired..." Dean's groan muffled beneath the blanket. 

"I know sweetheart, but we have to leave soon." Sam coaxed further.

"You had me the whole night, Sammy! Let me sleep in a little more, please?!" Dean grumbled as he removed the comforter to stare at his grinning fiance.

"I'm sorry...oops! Nope! I'm not! HAHA. So come on, get up lazy boy. We get your coffee fix and breakfast at that Teddy Bear Restaurant. Come on, sexy before I take you again!" Sam joked, pulling the comforter away from Dean's naked body, giving the blond a dirty look.

"Don't you dare, Sammy! Fine! I get up now!" Dean was about to climb off the bed when Sam pulled him back down and kissed him.

"You're not getting any you know? At least for a year." Dean teased the second Sam pulled away. 

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that. I'm not the tigress in bed. You are, honey." Sam teased him back laughing softly.

Dean rolled his eyes dramatically and said,"Shut up and kiss me." 

It was almost eight when they arrived at the restaurant. Michael was having his full American breakfast there too.


	9. Chapter 9

"The fucking kid!!" Theo roared as he came back into the room. He was fuming when he found the note from Michael on the desk.

"Hey! Easy there! That's my brother you're cursin." Ray warned as he made his way to the bathroom.

"I don't fucking care man! Either you discipline him or I will!" Theo threatened. He's at the end of his tether with the young man's attitude lately. Michael has shown little respect for him and his brother. 

"Look! He said he'll be getting the things for tonight alright. He's still doing his job so try to calm down. I'm sure he'll be back soon." Ray tried to convince his enraged friend, but it's not making himself feel any better. 

Theo was right. Michael had displayed a particular kind of behavior lately which didn't sit well with their leader. His brother was getting more vocal and opinionated every day. Ray shuddered to think that if Michael was to lead their heist, he could be more dangerous than Theo, and he put together.

Ray quickly put his troubling thoughts away and got himself a hot shower, hoping that his brother will come back soon. It's not easy to calm the bear in the living room.

Michael watched as the couple ordered their breakfast from the perky waitress. Stupid bitch, he thought. She must thought that it was her lucky day to serve such handsome boys. He waited impatiently for the waitress to unblock his beautiful view of the blonde. Ah! There he is.

So fucking gorgeous in that moss green sweater that matched the color of his eyes. Oh and that laughter! What was he laughing about, Michael wondered. Wished he was nearer so he could hear their conversation. Michael was seated at the counter while the boys sat at the booth by the window. 

He then saw the longer haired boyfriend of the blond held his hand discreetly across the table. Michael was struck with jealousy that he quickly turned away and sipped the hot coffee that it burned his tongue. He cursed as he slammed the mug onto the counter top, garnering curious stares from the patron next to him.

"What?!!" he balked at the old man and who just shrugged and continued eating his breakfast.

Michael turned his attention back to the lovers and was glad to see that they're not holding hands anymore. Stay that way my love, or I will kill that fucking boyfriend of yours. Michael suddenly thought of Theo's gun wondering when will he ever see that man pull the trigger.


	10. Chapter 10

They almost finished their breakfast when Dean decided to tell Sam about the stranger.

"Sam, don't turn now, alright. Someone's been staring at us from the counter. I think he saw you held my hands just now." Dean said carefully.

"So? Let him see. What can he do about it?" Sam countered, getting slightly annoyed. They were having such a great time, and now Dean has to pull this on him.

"No, Sammy. That's not what I meant. I don't really care either, at least not now. Surprising huh?" Dean smiled sincerely, for he knew that Sammy was getting worked up. And it was true that Dean didn't care anymore.

He found that he liked it when Sam was discreetly affectionate with him in public. It's dangerous but exciting at the same time that he told Sam about it.

Sam just stared at him like he grew another head and asked,"Did I hear you right, sweetheart?"

"Yes? Was it hard to believe? Look! He's still staring at us!" Dean laughed softly.

"You're not turned on by that creepy audience, right?" Sam teased as he nonchalantly swept his gaze across the restaurant.

The man was still staring at their table. More at Dean that Sam turned his attention back to his fiance.

"He was staring at you, baby. Can't blame him. He's quite a handsome chap, are you flattered?" Sam teased though he was slightly jealous of that stranger. Maybe Dean wanted to show the man that he's gay hence he let Sam hold his hand earlier. 

Sam hurriedly shoved his insecurities away. Dean was showing progress coming out of his shyness, and he needed Sam's support. He shouldn't be having doubts about his fiance that he loved so much.

As if Dean could read his mind, his lover grabbed his hand across the table and said, "I love you, Sammy, let's get out of here."

Sam nodded as he dropped the bills on the table. On the way out he stared at the man who continued staring brazenly at Dean. Sam was about to approach him, but Dean quickly pulled his arm away and whispered, "He's not worth it, Sammy. Let it go."

Michael continued to stare till they're out of the restaurant then turned to the waitress and paid his breakfast. He rushed out of the door to his car, hoping that it's not too late to tail the blue car before him.

He followed them at a safe distance till they parked at the Snow Summit parking lot. Michael parked a little further away from them and waited. 

Once the boys started towards the building, he then got out of his car and continued stalking them. He hid behind the pillar as he heard the tall man booked a three-hour session for the both of them. 

Michael smiled to himself and thought, great! He has time to do some shopping and come back later when they're done with the silly sports. 

Michael wanted to know where they stayed.

Sam and Dean had so much fun at the ski resort that the earlier uncomfortable event was already forgotten. Sam decided that the man was just a psycho and that he should learn to be more patient in the future. He wanted to enjoy this winter holiday with his fiance without any hiccups or trouble along the way.

Seeing Dean glide smoothly on the snow with a broad smile on his face made Sam's heart sore with so much love and pride. Proud that Dean belonged to him and no other.


	11. Chapter 11

Edited***

"Your fag brother still not home yet, and I'm fucking starving!" Theo growled as he paced the floor restlessly. It's almost three and Michael was still out with his car. 

"Don't call him that man. I hated it" Ray said grimly, as he flicked the tv channel on the remote.

"What?? You have a problem with faggots? Ya think I don't know that little Mikey's a FAG?" Theo mocked his friend.

"Shut the fuck up, Theo! You don't know what you're talking about." Ray retorted as he got up and walked towards the small fridge and grabbed himself a beer.

"Like hell, I don't! I saw the way he looked at pretty boys all the time. Like he can't wait to fuck their brains out!!" Theo laughed out loud, and Ray was so mad that he hit Theo hard in the face with the can of beer in his hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!?!!" Theo shouted as he stumbled backwards by the sudden attack.

"Told you to shut the fuck up about my brother." Ray gritted his teeth as he said the words. His face was red in anger that Theo somewhat knew he had crossed the line. He had no problems with Michael being queer, it's just that he was so mad that the kid took his car away and left him hungry and immobile. 

"Alright! I won't say it again! FUCK! That hurts!" Theo rubbed his bruised cheek and walked into the bathroom. He might as well take a shower before Michael comes back. He's going to deck the boy's face for causing his injury.

Ray opened the can of beer angrily that the content spilled all over his hand, but he couldn't care less and took a big gulp. He hated when someone called his brother that. It's not Michael's fault that he turned out that way. 

Their drunkard father had sexually abused his brother since he was only 10. That's why Ray took his brother away from home the night his mom called him to say that his father was attacking Michael in his sleep again. 

That old fucker was rotting in prison now for another case of rape and Ray hoped that someone would murder him soon. What he had done to Michael wasn't forgivable, and it affected the boy psychologically. 

But they're too poor to get a therapist help, so the only thing Ray could do was watch over him. It's not that his life was exemplary to begin with, but at least he cared enough for his brother to see that he's okay. Theo wasn't that bad either, he's just a stupid robber with a stupid mouth.

There's no way Ray would share his family life story with his friend. He hoped that Michael didn't run into some kind of trouble, and Ray hated not knowing what's going on in his brother's head. 

It wasn't long before Theo's car pulled up into the motel parking lot. It's owner was ready to pounce when Michael held him back and shoved the bag of food to the growling bear's stomach.

"Here! Sorry, I took so long. I haven't forgotten about you guys." Michael explained steadily. 

Theo glared at Michael before walking back into his motel room with the food, muttering son of a bitch under his breath. 

Michael just smiled at the older man and looked at Ray, who's staring at him. 

"What?" he asked his older brother.

"Where have you been?" Ray asked warily. Michael seemed to be hiding something from him.

"Stalking our next victim. They lived not too far from here."


	12. Chapter 12

Sam hung up the phone after talking to his aunt and joined Dean, who's lying on the couch. The blond smiled knowingly at his frowning fiance.

"She scolded you huh?" Dean teased as Sam gave him a smirk and lifted his legs to sit on the end of the couch. 

"Like I said, it's your fault for causing all these distractions." Sam said as he bent over to kiss Dean softly.

"I've done nothing for you to accuse me in such a way," Dean smiled as he looked up into his lover's eyes.

"Exactly. My mind goes into chaos every time you're close to me." Sam replied huskily. 

"Romantic fool." Dean teased as he pecked Sam's nose.

"Your, romantic fool." Sam whispered as he gazed lovingly into Dean's eyes.

"....mine..." Dean countered softly, and they made love on that couch that beautiful quiet afternoon before dinner. They had so much fun snowboarding that morning that Dean fell asleep almost immediately after Sam came inside of him. 

Sam, unwilling to let go, draped his arms around his sleeping fiance and kissed his face gently. He recalled the conversation they had earlier while having lunch at the steakhouse. They've been talking about their future and got so carried away that they forgot that there were other people in the restaurant.

They agreed to live near their family and adopt two children when they're both financially stable one day. They wouldn't mind the race or gender of their adoptive kids as long as they're loved by their family. 

Dean wanted to teach at the local high school after graduation and Sam will continue his internship with the law firm. 

Sam hope that their happiness will last forever and can't wait for their wedding day which coincides with the anniversary of their first date in high school. 

It's going to be a small wedding and Gabriel will be his best man while Charlie will be Dean's best man! It was a joke that they laughed at hysterically at the restaurant. 

Dean wanted to stay in the cabin that night so they bought food to eat for dinner. Neither has the energy to cook nor clean. 

Sam began to fall asleep as darkness filled the room and the only source of light came from the fire that dances merrily in the hearth.

Michael's breath hitched as he stared in awe at the serene, illuminated face through the window pane. He looked almost ethereal, he thought. 

Michael looked at the time on his watch. 

"Only a couple more hours, my love and soon you'll be mine."


	13. Chapter 13

"So, what kind of people are they, Mike?" Theo asked as he ran through the things on the table. There were thick ropes, masking tapes, knives, big laundry bags, gloves, and masks.

"They're rich kids from Beverly Hills," Michael lied without looking at their leader.

"Oh yeah? How did ya know?" Theo asked skeptically, staring at him.

Michael, still avoiding the older man's gaze answered quietly, "I heard their conversation in the restaurant this morning." 

"Well, did they saw you?" Theo asked curiously.

"Of course not! I'm not stupid!" he replied angrily. Michael knew that he was taking so many risks here. Their victims saw him, and he's not even sure if they have any valuables with them. They seemed like any typical middle-class kids on vacation. But he can't control his obsession with that blonde boy any longer. Michael has to have him. He's too perfect.

"They'd better be loaded, or we're just gonna waste our fucking time," Theo grumbled and walked out of the room to smoke. 

Ray came closer to his brother the moment Theo left. "Mike, are you telling us the truth?" 

Michael stuffed the ropes angrily in the bag and stared at his brother."Why? You don't believe me too?" he bites.

"You can tell me, Mikey. You know that. Now, what's going on? Why these boys? We never attacked people our age, there's a chance that they will fight back." he reasoned.

Michael went silent, and Ray asked again gently. "Michael?" 

Michael moved to the couch and sat. Ray followed suit, sitting next to him.

"I liked one of them, wanna be close to him," Michael murmured as he stared at this hands on his lap.

"Attraction or....?" Ray asked curiously, looking at Michael, who's looking slightly nervous now. 

"I don't wanna talk about it," Michael replied curtly, as he got up and locked himself in the bathroom.

Frustrated, Ray went outside to join Theo for smoke. He almost wanted to tell his friend about what Michael said but thought against it. Why Mikey wanted to rob the boy he liked, he wondered. Maybe it's the only way for Michael to get nearer to him. The thoughts saddened Ray immensely. He wanted so much for Michael to have a normal life. Maybe tonight is the night that they both could escape from Theo. 

"Sammy loved the koftas, mom. He wanted you to make more when we come home this weekend.." Dean said to his mom on the phone and Sam rushed to snatch the receiver away from his fiance."MARY! I didn't say that! No, I mean I loved your koftas, but you don't have to make it for me! Dean's putting words in my mouth!" he rectified as Dean laughed away in the kitchen. They were having their takeout dinner when Mary called.

"Oh..thank you, Mary. I appreciate that.....yeah, you take care too...love you too. Bye!" Sam hung up and turned to his sneaky lover. 

"I'm gonna get you!!" he charged towards the laughing blond who jumped out of his chair and ran out of the kitchen into the backyard.

Sam tackled him onto the snowy ground and tickled him mercilessly. Dean laughed louder as he tried to escape from underneath his fiance's body but failed. Sam laughed too as he pinned Dean with his body weight and held both his hands above his head.

Their laughs subsided as they gazed into each other's eyes. "Dean?" Sam whispered.  
"Yes, Sammy?" he replied gently.  
"Do you how much I love you?" Sam asked.  
"No. How much?" Dean teased and gave Sam his lopsided smile.  
Sam held his gaze longer and said, "So much that I would die for you."  
Dean laughed at his corny words but stopped immediately, when he saw the seriousness in his fiance's face.  
"You're serious??" he asked carefully.  
"Yes, I am, Dean," Sam said steadfastly.  
Dean searched his fiance's handsome face and cooed, "I would die for you too. I love you so much, Sammy."

"For better or for worse?" Sam asked as he smiled softly at his teary fiance.  
"Forever and ever," Dean replied, and they kissed out there with the snow falling gently around them.


	14. Chapter 14

The men were ready with their black masks over their head and black gloves. Theo hid his gun inside his jacket while Ray checked the room again to see if they'd forgotten anything. They planned to leave the area immediately after their job is done.

Michael was waiting for them impatiently in the car outside. He can't wait to get to that cabin in the corner and has been fantasizing all kinds of wonderful things that he will do to that blonde boy. Michael wished he don't have to put on his mask as he wanted the boy to look at his face as he fucked him hard.

He's been going back and forth to that cabin to check if the lovers had gone to bed and it's almost 2 in the morning and the lights had been out since midnight. He informed his gang that it was time to break in. 

Ray didn't turn on the lights as he drove slowly towards their victims' lodge. They parked the car at the corner of the street and entered through cabin's back door. It wasn't locked. 

The snow was beginning to fall harder, and the sound of the howling wind in the trees was almost eerie. As if nature aware of the horrible things that are about to occur in there.

It was dark inside except for the fire that's burning fiercely in the hearth. They each held small torchlights in their hand as they tiptoed into the den. They found nothing there, so Theo said to go ahead into the bedroom.

Michael's heart was beating wildly in anticipation for the blond that he almost felt like dying. Theo turned the bedroom door knob slowly and was relieved to know that it wasn't locked. Most of the time things went wrong when they tried to pry open a locked door and alerted the victims of their presence. The boys must've thought that they're safe there because even the back door was unlocked! Foolish kids, Theo thought. Well, served them right then!

They entered the room stealthily and surrounded the sleeping boys in bed. Theo pulled the comforter away from their half naked bodies and shoved the gun on Sam's head and growled, "This is a holdup. I will shoot if you tried to resist." 

Sam's eyes opened wide in shock when he felt the tip of the cold metal pressed against his temple. "Wh..what?!" he stuttered as the reality of the situation hasn't sunk in yet. The room was dark, and he can't make out the face of the man who warned him.

"I said this is a fucking holdup. I will shoot if you scream!" Theo warned again and pressed the gun harder to his temple when Sam tried to get up.

Theo's voice woke Dean that he immediately rise in a panic and saw a huge man towered over Sam. "Sam, what's going on!!"  
He shouted and clambered out of bed, but froze when he felt a sharp blade grazed his neck. "Don't hurt him!!"Michael warned Ray who replied, "I won't! Search the drawers!" he ordered his brother who obeyed him instantly. "There's nothing, Ray, only set of car keys." Michael said. "Give them to me." Ray said and then slipped the keys in his pocket. 

Helpless, Sam and Dean blinked hard to adjust their visions in the darkness till they could they make out the form of three assailants in their bedroom. They were all wearing dark clothes and black masks.

"Listen! No one would get hurt if you guys fucking cooperate with us, you hear?" Ray warned. They're still in a shocking state to reply immediately, that Theo repeated Ray's words angrily, "Do you understand him! You fucking son of bitches!"  
Sam and Dean hastily nodded in agreement. 

Sam braved himself and asked the huge man above him. "...What do you want from us? We have nothing!" Sam told him, hoping that the man believed him and left.

"What do you mean you have nothing? You fucking rich kids from fucking Hollywood burning your parents money on vacation! Come on tell me where are your fucking wallets!!?!!" Theo's voice boomed in the dark room. Dean groaned in pain as Ray tugged his hair roughly and pressed the knife onto his neck further. "Where are the money?" Ray asked close to his face.

"Don't hurt him!!" Sam shouted at Ray and said hurriedly, "Outside! In the living room!" 

"Tape his mouth and tie him up NOW!!" Theo shouted at Michael as he pressed the gun's nozzle harder on Sam's head.

Michael taped Sam's mouth with the wide masking tape and tied both his victim's wrists and ankles tight with ropes. He was fast and efficient due to his numerous participation in the gang.

"Take this!" Theo passed the gun to Ray. "Tie him too!" he ordered Michael, pointing to Dean and walked out of the room.

Ray cocked the gun on Dean's head as Michael repeated the same action on him. He was gentler with Dean but still made sure that the knots were totally secured. Michael held the masking tape in his hand and shone the light on Dean's face. He then asked him gently, "What's your name, beautiful?" Dean's eyes squinted at the bright light, but he caught sight of the gray eyes behind the mask. They looked oddly familiar and with trepidation, Dean remembered who those cold eyes belonged too. "It's you!" he shouted, and Ray pushed the gun on his neck and demanded, "Tell him your name!" 

Sam, who comprehended Dean's accusation, had the foreboding sense that something's horrible going to happen to his fiance that he started kicking his legs at Michael. Unfortunately, his futile attempts made him weaker due to the poor blood circulations on his lower extremities. The harder he tried, the harder the strain he felt on his ankles.

"TELL HIM!!" Ray demanded impatiently, as he pushed the gun further into the soft skin of Dean's neck.

"Dean." He replied with gritted teeth. His mind consumed with fury as he stared at the mad man before him. The psycho must have been stalking them all day.

"I'm going to fuck you,Dean," Michael said as plastered the tape on Dean's mouth to muffle his protests. Dean struggled violently but was rendered helpless by the restraints on his body. 

Ray, caught by surprise, waited for his brother's action. Sam listened in horror to what Michael said began to kick at Michael violently again. His distressed muffled screams failed to get their attacker's attention. 

Outside, they could hear Theo cursed when he found that there was only $700 in both wallets. He then cut off the phone's cable and ransacked the entire place, taking anything he deemed valuable to pawn later, no matter what their sizes. They could hear him rushing in and out of the cabin to his car. 

Michael wasted no time when he took his knife and cut off Dean's cotton boxers. He then pulled down his pants and turned Dean around on his knees. Ray and Sam watched as he spat into his hand and rubbed his saliva on Dean's hole before lining himself and fucked Dean hard. Dean's muffled groan was completely ignored by Michael who began fucking him faster. He gripped Dean's hips hard as he drove into him harder. Stiffled moans escaped his lips every now and then because of the risk of Theo hearing them. Michael was torn. He knew now why his father raped him countless of times. The power he held over a helpless Dean was beyond his wildest imagination. Michael knew he has to hasten but he wanted to relish this moment at the same time. This hurried situation was making him angry that he continued fucking Dean into oblivion. If Ray has any qualms about what's happening, he didn't show it. He silently justified Michael's action for what his brother has gone through all these years under their father's abuse. He just chose to turn his attention away from the horrifying sight and held his gun steadfastly on Dean's head.

Dean and Sam were both crying relentlessly now. Dean shook his head at his lover, begging him to shut his eyes even though his sorrowful words could not be deciphered.

Sam's body trembled as he cried watching Michael moaned and pounded Dean's hole hard and fast like a wild animal. The tears in his eyes won't stop falling till Michael finally stop, which seemed like forever.

Theo came in the room right that instant and yelled, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!" He was shocked to find Michael raping their victim. Rape has never been on their agenda and he was utterly furious at his cohorts stupidity. 

Michael pulled his limp penis out slowly and turned to Theo. "I'm done. Let's go." he said as he zipped himself up. Dean's body fell to the side as he held Sam's gaze with his teary eyes. Nothing else existed then but just the both of them. None of it matter anymore till Ray began to speak. The man who had completely detached himself from his rape. 

"Not so fast guys! He knew who Michael was." Ray pointed at Dean. 

"You fucking piece of shit!!!" Theo screamed at Michael and punched his face hard. It angered Ray so much but he controlled his emotions. Michael's gonna escape tonight and he will soon too. "Ray! Come with me!!" Theo ordered as he pulled Sam up by his long hair. "Give me the fucking gun!!" Ray gave it to him reluctantly. He knew what Theo's going to do next. 

"You stay here with him! We'll get him next!!" Theo ordered Michael and with Ray, they dragged a hysterical Sammy out of the room. Theo wished he could take both victims but he needed Ray's help because Sam's big and he would try to run away later.

Dean screamed and kicked his legs harder on the bed. He whimpered as he begged Michael with his eyes, to stop this madness but the man just stood there emotionless. His looks portrayed nothing but resignation.

Once out, Ray quickly excused himself to Theo. He said that he needed to pass the knife to his brother. "Hurry the fuck up!!" Theo warned as he kept pulling a frantic Sam towards the back door.

Ray ran to the room and said to Michael, "Michael. Listen to me. You're in danger. I want you to kill him and leave this place. Take their car!" Ray handed the car keys in Michael's palm and said, "I will find you. Do it now!" He passed the knife and kissed Michael's head before running off to help Theo.

Michael looked at the keys and knife in his hands. He put the keys in his pocket and pulled his mask off.

"Look at me for the last time, Dean," he said sadly and pointed the knife at Dean.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must admit I didn't stay true to the true story. In the true story, the murderer was caught and sentenced to life in prison.
> 
> I hope it's still okay. Thank you guys for reading and the kudos! :))
> 
> I swear I terribly need an editor! LOL!!

Edited***

Theo and Ray dragged Sam into the forest with only one flashlight to guide them through. They had no choice but to kill him there where no one can hear the gunshot.

It will be their first experience with murder, and it made Theo anxious. He never thought that he would use his gun on someone but for Ray, he merely felt like his going with the motion. His mind was busy thinking about Michael, who he left with the rape victim. Ray hoped that his brother had adhered his advised and fled with the car. 

"Here's good!!" Theo shouted as he pushed Sam on the ground. Ray, jolted from his thoughts, just nodded at his friend.

Theo took his gun out and aimed it at Sam's head. A shirtless and bounded Sam trembled from cold, and fear. He cried and shook his head as he looked up at Theo for mercy. 

"THE FUCK YA LOOKING AT?!! TURN AROUND ASSHOLE!!" Theo shouted at him. Ray could see Theo's hands shook as held the gun with both hands. He knew right then that Theo was all talk and no guts. Ray was utterly disgusted with him at this point. 

"Give me the gun," Ray demanded. 

"What?!" Theo asked in shock.

"Let me finish him off." Ray offered, and Theo looked at him baffled but handed the gun to his friend.

Ray took the gun and shot both men in the head and fled.

He ran all the way back to the cabin for his brother. Once he's there, he found that the car that Michael supposed to steal was still there. For confirmation, he ran into the cabin, to see if his brother has killed the other victim. 

Ray found his brother dead on the bedroom floor in a pool of blood. The knife was next to him. The rape victim was gone.

Ray's agonizing cries echoed throughout the house.


	16. Chapter 16

Bobby rushed to the motel after he got the distressed call from its manager. He drove his car at full speed despite the snow, and his heart was thumping hard in his chest. What the hell had happened in his cabin? 

The manager had told him that Dean had run to the motel's front desk half-naked and shivering, with both wrists tied behind his back, shouting for help. The man immediately cut the rope that bound him and urged Dean to calm down as he couldn't understand a word he said amidst the shaking and crying. 

Once Dean regained his composure, he immediately told the horrifying incident that the manager wasted no time calling the sheriff's department and Bobby, who he knew so well.

When Bobby arrived, there were three patrol cars and an ambulance. Dean was in that ambulance, but he refused to get any medical attention and kept shouting at the law officers to look for Sam. 

Sam! Bobby thought dreadfully and ran towards Dean and the officer who tried to subdue the hysterical victim. 

"DEAN!!! WHAT HAPPENED SON?!!" Bobby asked apprehensively as he approached the ambulance. 

"BOBBY!!" Dean jumped from the opened vehicle and ran towards Bobby, who caught the boy in his arms. 

Dean cried on his shoulder and told him what had happened.

"Oh my God," Bobby whispered, and Dean pulled away suddenly.

"Bobby! Please tell the officers to look for Sammy! Please, Bobby!!" he pleaded, shaking the old man's shoulder.

"I will, son. I will. Let's go back in there, it's freezing out here." Bobby led the trembling young man back to the ambulance. The paramedics attended to him instantly.

Bobby introduced himself and talked to the sheriff who told him that a search for Sam was already conducted with the help of a few cadaver dogs. He also informed Bobby about the suicide of one of the robbers as told by Dean but the dead man was gone by the time the law officers arrived at the crime scene.

Dean listened to their conversation and wished that he could go with the search party looking for Sam. He prayed and prayed for his fiance's safety and that God will watch over him. 

Images of Sam taken away by the two men and Michael's suicide after he cut off the rope on Dean's ankles haunted his mind over and over that he felt like he's going insane.

The radio call coming from the Sherriff's car got the officer's attention. He ran and picked up the call, and Dean could hear clearly that Sam's car was found, and a suspect was apprehended while the other was dead, but Sam was not mentioned which means that the other robber still has him. Dean's hope ran high up that he started praying again.

Bobby came to him then to inform that he will join in the search. Dean wanted to go with him and but the officer adamantly refused to let him go. Dean had to be examined by the doctor, as his rape case will be crucial for the court hearing later.

Dean has no choice but to adhere to the sheriff's order. He made Bobby promise to inform him of the developments before he went in the ambulance to the hospital.

Dean was sitting in bed in the emergency ward when he heard the commotion outside. He got up and ran to the nurses and asked them what happened. The staff who knew what's going on told Dean that Sam Wesson was rolled into the surgery room. He had suffered a gunshot wound to his head.

Dean felt lightheaded suddenly that the nurse called out to the resident doctor who caught him just in time before he collapsed to the floor.


	17. Chapter 17

Bobby held his hand the minute Dean regained consciousness. The doctor had told him that Dean suffered from multiple shocks that night that his nerves couldn't handle the pressure anymore.

Dean's eyes fluttered opened and his vision blurred for a moment, but he recognized Bobby instantly.

"Bobby.." he spoke groggily.

"Hey, son. I'm here. How are you feeling?" Bobby asked gently. 

"Okay, I guess. How's Sammy?" he asked as he tried to push his upper body up.

"Dean, I think you should lie down. Come on son.." Bobby coaxed, and Dean laid back again.

"How's Sammy?" he whimpered as tears fell from the corner of his eyes.

Bobby looked at him sadly and said, "The doctors are still performing surgery on him now, Dean."

"How long was he there?" he asked again.

"Almost five hours," Bobby replied.

Dean turned his head to look at the ceiling. He tried to stop himself from crying, but he couldn't help it. 

His parents who just arrived from Burbank went straight into his room.

"Dean!! Oh my God! Dean!!" Mary ran towards her son and hugged him fiercely. Mother and son cried in each other's arms. John shook hands with Bobby and walk to the other side of the bed and joined in the hug.

Bobby then left the room to give the family some privacy. He saw a woman crying as she talked to the Sherriff. A young man about Sam's age was holding her shoulders, calming her. They must be Sam's family, he thought. The officer saw him and called out, "Mr. Singer! This is Sam's aunt, Ellen and her son, Gabriel."

"Hello, I'm Bobby Singer. you can call me Bobby." he introduced himself with a sympathetic smile.

"Can you please tell us what happened?" Ellen asked Bobby as she choked on her sobs. 

Bobby nodded and led the family away to the nearest rest area and reluctantly filled them with the gritty details. Ellen's harrowing cries rang all the way to Dean's room.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam survived the operation performed by a team of competent surgeons a few hours later. They said that the low trajectory shot in Sam's head had missed the brain regions that govern critical functions. But Sam has to go through grueling rehab after he made through the hospital initialization later.

Ellen and Gabriel, who listened to the news conveyed by the doctor, broke into tears. Mary, John, and Dean who were there cried too as they held on to one another. It was a both happy and sad moment for both families as they thanked the Almighty for the news.

Dean, who refused any treatment from the hospital, till he knew the outcome of Sam's condition, now sat face to face with a trained counselor. Dean told her what happened to him. Memories of that horrifying scene came rushing in his brain.

Michael stood before him with the knife in his hands. Dean thought that he's gonna die that night, trembled and begged his rapist in tears "...please...stop them...please...save, Sammy, please..." 

His words stunned Michael that he asked curiously, "You want me to help spare his life but not yours, Dean? Why?"

"..because I love him, so much. I will die in his place..please save him, please, please stop them." Dean cried painfully.

Michael was speechless. Dean's sacrificing himself for love. The word that Michael never knew nor experienced. His life suddenly felt hollow and bleak that he said quietly, "...of course.."

Dean shut his eyes as waited for the attack but was surprised when Michael cut off the rope on his ankles instead. Dean's eyes flew to Michael, who then plunged the sharp knife into his own body. Dean screamed as his attacker fell to the ground. Michael's suicide stayed in his mind forever.

Dean cried as he told the counselor that early morning incident. It took him awhile till he regained his composure and fell asleep due to exhaustion. 

He was discharged from the hospital a week later, but Sam had to stay for at least a month before he got transferred to a hospital in Los Angeles. Dean refused to leave Sam alone there in Big Bear, but he has to go back to college as there were only a few months left until graduation. Reluctantly, he visited Sam in the intensive care for the last time. 

"Sammy, I have to go. Please, get well soon, my love. I miss you, and I love you so much. Come home to me soon." Dean whispered softly to his sedated fiance and kissed his pale lips.

Both their parents watched them in tears before they bid each other goodbyes.

Ellen walked towards her son in bed and kissed his forehead as tears fell from her face. "You are going to pull through, Sammy. I love you."


	19. Chapter 19

Sam woke up in his hospital bed to find out that Dean had left, but Ellen was there to comfort his teary nephew. He nodded in understanding after his aunt explained why Dean has to go. From that day, Sam made a point to get better fast to be with his fiance soon. 

Ellen, who never left his side, gave him all the encouragement and support that he needed. The doctors and nurses were amazed at his progress though Sam still has a long way to go towards recovery.

Though he seemed better physically, nothing prepared him nor his aunt for his emotional outburst later on. Sam's memories of the incident came in fragments. He vaguely remembered the shootings, but unfortunately, Dean's rape scene stuck in his mind. He tried hard to erase the haunting images but failed. He let his inner turmoil out in the privacy of the bathroom every night where no one could hear him cry or bang his head continuously with his fists.

In a little less than three months, Sam was discharged from the hospital in Big Bear but continued rehab in his city.

In May, Dean graduated college and free to visit Sam at the nearby hospital every day. Gabriel worked two jobs now to help support his mom and cousin's hospital needs. Whenever he's off duty, he will visit Sam at the hospital with Dean. 

In less than a month, Sam insisted that he was fine and told his doctor that he wanted to recuperate at home. The doctor reluctantly discharged him but advised him to continue with private therapy.

Dean asked Ellen if he could move in with them so he could watch Sam. Ellen, who has to work longer hours recently at the bank, welcomed him into their household immediately. Mary and John often helped their friend's family too through their difficult times, financially and emotionally.

But instead of getting therapy as his doctor had advised, Sam sought Gabriel's company whenever his cousin was free. Their meetings didn't bode well with both Dean and Ellen, who tried to stop Sam from using alcohol to ease his mental burden. Ellen berated her son, Gabriel for encouraging Sam to drink which the former steadfastly denied. Gabriel said he too can't seem to talk sense into Sam and gradually distanced himself from his self-destructive cousin.

Slowly with Dean and Ellen's help, Sam managed to calm himself, but the crazy thoughts in his mind wouldn't cease. Sometimes Sam let Dean care and love him and other times he pushed him away and brought up the rape again that led to their arguments.

Nothing Dean did or said was right anymore without Sam reminded him about the rape incident time and again.

"Did you enjoy it, Dean? Was he better than me?You can tell me the truth!" Sam asked anxiously one night.

"Sammy, for God's sake, please stop this madness! I was rape, Sammy!! Have you forgotten that night?!" Dean implored in a frustrated tone. Tears brimmed his eyes as he searched his fiance's face.

Sam's constant reminder of his misfortune made him furious for he had put the incident behind him. Dr. Novak had managed to make him come to terms with his emotional state. 

Sam who saw the sincerity in Dean's eyes rushed forward and embraced his fiance tightly, begging for forgiveness. And far too often, Dean forgave him, but he knew it's just a matter of time before he too lost his patience. Sam's refusal to get professional help will drift their relationship apart eventually.

His mood swings caused sadness in Dean because he knew it were not Sam's fault and tried his best to make his fiance forget what had happened. Even Michael's suicide didn't bring any consolation to Sam, who wished that he had killed the rapist himself.

Dean, who had ended his therapy sessions with Dr. Novak, now, continue going because of the current problems with Sam. Dean wanted his fiance to join him in the doctor's office, but his request flatly refused time and again. 

Nights were the most bearable part at least for Sam because Dean's close to him and never let go. Sometimes Dean tried to get intimate with him, and Sam responded his fiance's kisses passionately but stopped abruptly when the nasty images invaded his mind again.

They cried silently, facing away from each other whenever that happened.


	20. Chapter 20

Edited****

"I still think that you should tell him about that night, Dean." Castiel Novak said gently. He was surprised to see Dean that Tuesday afternoon, two days before his appointment but welcomed him into his office nevertheless. 

Dean shook his head and stared at his fingers on his lap. The 35 year old doctor watched him silently. He had told Dean to do the same thing before. Tell Sam that he too was almost killed by Michael but Dean refused because he thought that it will traumatize his fiance further.

The three months session that they had before was successful, and they had actually become fast friends. The doctor had insisted that they should talk about his problems in casual terms instead of Dean paying for his therapy this time round. He knew that Dean hasn't started work yet because of Sam, so he posed the question again.

"Okay then but would you like to cancel this whole thing, so we can talk outside as friends, Dean? My last offer." Castiel joked kindly.

His words made Dean smile like they always do. The doctor was so kind to him from the beginning, so patient yet firm with his advice. Dean would not have healed emotionally if not for him. The trust and gratitude he felt for the young doctor were immense that he knew Sam will benefit too if he agreed to talk to Castiel. 

Yes, that's what Dean called him after their last session, but now it seemed inappropriate to do so since he's back in the doctor's office. Dean didn't know what it was, but he felt so comfortable in Castiel's presence. He exuded warmth and peace, something Dean used to feel with Sam before, he thought sadly.

At first, Dean thought he was falling in love, but he knew that's not the case. Dean loved Sam and will always remain faithful to his fiance forever. Dean upheld his promise to Sammy, for better or for worse. 

"I'm sorry, Cas, I'm nothing but a burden," Dean replied forlornly.

"No, you're not. It's my pleasure to help you and to be honest, I find it strange that you called me Dr. Novak again." Castiel explained with a smile. Dean smiled back at him and said, "Me too."

"Come, let's get out of here. I will tell Anna to cancel all your appointments from now on."

"Okay," Dean answered as Castiel removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve. Dean must admit that his new friend was gorgeous and knew that most of his patients were female, young and old. He saw them wait outside Castiel's office every time.

"Cas, thank you so much for doing this. I owe you so much." Dean said as they're about to walk out of the office.

"You don't owe me anything, Dean. Just a hot cup of cappuccino." Cas winked and smile. Dean blushed furiously, as he returned the smile.

"Sam, my mom's gonna kill me if she knew you're here," Gabriel warned as he dried the beer mugs behind the bar.

"I don't know where else to go, Gabe. I tried looking for a job, but most of them denied my applications. Fucking advice me to finish college or get better rest, blah, blah, blah." Sam complained.

"Maybe they're right, Sammy. Why don't you finish up your final semester?" Gabriel tried to reason. He stopped cleaning to give his attention to his cousin.

"Are you kidding me? I could barely remember stuff, let alone what I've learned in college. I've to study all over again, Gabe, right from the beginning!" Sam said peeling the label off the beer bottle frustratingly.

"Where's Dean by the way?" Gabe asked curiously because he suspected Dean didn't know that his fiance visited his workplace.

"He's with his psychiatrist," Sam replied uninterestedly, still busy peeling the label off.

"I thought his session were over? What happened, Sammy? Did he have a relapse? Gabriel asked worriedly. He thought Dean was alright.

Sam went silent. Gabriel could see guilt written all over his face. "Sam?"

"What happened?" Gabriel insisted and took the empty beer bottle away from Sam's hand.

Sam looked at him in slight annoyance and said, "We've been arguing a lot lately." 

"About that again?"Gabriel asked unbelievingly. He didn't know the extent of Sam's emotional distressed.

His question met with silence, and he was getting impatient. Dean was his friend too, and he was the actual victim of the rape, but Sam was making things hard not just Dean but him and his mom too. They've witnessed Sam and Dean's pain and suffering every time they fought. 

"Sam? You got to erase those from your mind!! Dean's suffering too!! You're gonna lose him, mark my words! It's high time you get help, man! Just go home, already!" Gabriel spat. He slapped the cleaning towel over his shoulder angrily and went into the pub's kitchen. 

Sam sat there alone for a few minutes before he got up and left. He took out the business card and read the address on it. Dean must be having his therapy session in that Dr. Novak's office right now. Sam hope that he's still welcomed to join his fiance.


	21. Chapter 21

"Why can't he forget the incident, and don't remember the shooting, Cas?" Dean asked sadly, as they sat at the cafe by the street near Castiel's office building.

Castiel looked at him and replied carefully, "Pardon me for what I'm going to say, Dean." 

Dean looked at him questioningly and said, "Go ahead, Cas. Just tell me."

"Dean, when Michael raped you, Sam was only able to look on helplessly. Your sufferings caused his emotions and thoughts to run very high at that time. His brain zeroed in and irrevocably stored the horrifying incident without him realizing it. Sam knew they were going to shoot him, but he didn't know when or by who. There were two men. The shot was sudden, and his mind didn't have time to register what had happened. That was why we all remembered only certain things in our childhood. Those moments were significant to us at that point, no matter how young we were and we kept them in our memories forever." Castiel explained gently.

"So Sam's gonna live with that memory forever," Dean said dejectedly.

"I'm afraid so, Dean. Even when the hatred is gone, he will always remember." Castiel said sympathetically. His heart went out to the good-looking young man before him. Too young to have this kind of problems, he thought.

"What should I do, then?" Dean asked wearily, looking into Castiel's kind eyes.

"Help him lose the hatred," Castiel replied.

"Just tell me where they are and why was his session canceled??" Sam asked Anna impatiently, Castiel's assistant at the desk outside his office.

Anna didn't know her employer's and Dean's whereabouts, so she told the troubled man the truth.

"I'm sorry, but I have no idea where they went and why all his sessions canceled, Mr. Wesson. I was only doing my job." She said firmly, hoping the young man believed her. There are so many kinds of characters she encountered on a regular basis that Anna was unperturbed by Sam's agitated state. He was pacing the carpeted floor back and forth.

Sam suddenly stopped and asked her again anxiously,"You don't know when they will be back?!" 

"No, Mr. Wesson. I don't." Anna replied steadily.

"Oh, come on! The doctor must have other appointments later! Just tell me please, give me the time. I won't make a scene, I promise you!" Sam demanded, leaning towards the assistant desk.

"Dr. Novak has no other appointments for the rest of the day," she replied.

Sam rubbed his face frustratedly and muttered thanks to her before leaving the building.

He pressed the button on the wall many times, impatiently waiting for the lift, to arrive. Once inside, he pressed the close button numerously again as the other passengers watched him curiously. His breaths were coming in short now, and he felt a sudden migraine attack.

Sam rushed out of the moment the lift hit the lobby floor. He didn't know what else to do and where he's going. He came by bus as Dean drove his car. Doctors had advised Sam not to operate any machine in the mean time. An idea struck him, and he ran into the building car park and saw his blue car sat in the middle of the lot. 

Dean is near, he thought. So he walked back to the street, searching for his fiance and true enough, Sam found Dean sitting in a corner cafe with perhaps the doctor, Castiel Novak.

They were talking, and then Dean smiled warmly at something the doctor said. Sam's heart tightened as he watched the handsome pair engaged comfortably before him. He quickly turned around ran to the nearest alley. The bitter bile on his throat threatened to rise, and he forced himself to throw up. Tears stung his eyes as the sharp pain in his head got more intense.

Sam willed himself not to cry. Dean didn't mean to lie to him, has reasons, good reasons, Dean loves him. His mind kept repeating the same thing over and over, but Gabriel's angry words interjected his thoughts, Mark my words! You're gonna lose him!

Sam fell to the ground, with his hands clutched to his head and cried silently.


	22. Chapter 22

Sam took a deep breath and stopped crying. He shouldn't be like this because he wasn't like this. Sam was a man who never gave up on anything, and he 's not going to give up on the love of his life, Dean. 

He pushed himself up and walked towards the bus stop, refraining himself from turning around and walked back to the cafe. He trusted his fiance with all his heart. The bus came just in time and he boarded it. He found a seat by the window and when the bus passed the cafe he chanced another look into it. Dean and the doctor were still there with smiles on their faces. Sam shut his eyes and calmed himself down. He refused to let a migraine took over him again this time.

The bus stopped two blocks before Gabriel's working place, and he got off. His cousin was surprised to see him there again.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" Gabriel asked worriedly, as Sam rushed to the bar.

"I need a job, Gabe. Anything, I will do anything. Just give me a job, please." Sam almost begged.

"Alright, Sammy. Let me talk to the boss. You wait here." Gabriel said as he walked to the little office at the back.

"Thank you," Sammy said as he sat on the barstool, praying that he'll be accepted. He vowed to repair his relationship with Dean and make all their dreams come true.

"Thank you, Cas, and I believed I owe you more than that," Dean smiled as he pointed at his friend's empty cup.

"Yes, I believed so Dean. Maybe you can buy me another?" Cas teased him back.

"Sure sounds like a cheesy pickup line, Cas." Dean retorted, laughing softly.

"It did huh? Well, I've been off the game far too long, so sue me!" Cas smiled as he replied. Dean just laughed at him.

"Yeah, what's the deal, Cas? You're a young and handsome doctor. Why are you still single?" Dean asked.

"Good question but do you really wanna hear my boring slash cliche love story?" Castiel asked with air quotes.

"Oh, I do wanna know, Cas!," Dean's quick reply. Cas laughed softly at his new friend. He never thought that it was this easy to talk with someone. Well yes, he's a psychiatrist, and excelled in his profession, but his personal life was hopeless. Even Anna gave up on being his matchmaker.

So they stayed on, ordered more coffee and learned more about each other. Time passed them by, that they didn't even realize it was almost dark.


	23. Chapter 23

"Well, congratulations, cuz! Who knew you're going to work with me?!" Gabriel patted Sam's back as they walked out towards the door.

"Yeah, who knows? But I'm doing this for Dean, Gabe. Can't lose him." Sam said quietly.

"Well, good you do that!" Gabriel smiled, and they bid each other goodbyes. Sam will start working as a barback at the pub tomorrow. He can't wait to tell Dean about it and was disappointed to find that his fiance wasn't home yet. 

Sam checked the answering machine, but there were no messages. His mind clouded with jealousy that he quickly shook the notion off. Better make himself busy, he thought. So he went to the kitchen and prepared dinner. The phone rang in the hall and he rushed to pick it up, thinking it was Dean, he said, "Hi, baby!" 

"No one calls me that but I don't mind it coming from you! Hello, Sammy!" Charlie's laughter rang through the receiver. Sam was momentarily disappointed, but he didn't let up.

"Hey, sorry! I thought it was Dean. What's up?" Sam cradled the phone between his head and shoulder while he stirred the salad in the bowl with his hands.

"Nothing. Just checking on you, buddy. How are you guys doing?" she asked gently.

"Yeah, we're alright. Thanks for asking. Yourself?" Sam replied wishing he could share his thoughts and fears with his best friend.

"I'm doing good, Sammy, thanks! Hey, you guys wanna hang out with Jessica and me later at the pub tonight? It's not crowded... which is good, for us, oldies." Charlie said, and Sam could feel his friend's smile.

"I just got home from there, Charlie. Tomorrow? By the way, I start my new job there as a barback, tomorrow." Sam supplied.

"Really?! That's awesome, Sammy! Okay, free up the counter, let no one sit there, got it?" she ordered playfully. 

"Yes, ma'am!" Sam replied, and they hung up the phone. The front door opened, and he was slightly disappointed again when he saw his aunt Ellen walked in instead.

"Hey, Aunt." he greeted. "Hey, whatcha making?" Ellen smiled and looked into the bowl in Sam's hand.

"Cobb salad. And I'm going to make us, steak for dinner." Sam said as he kissed Ellen's cheeks and walked towards the kitchen.

"That's so sweet of you, Sammy. Where's Dean?" she asked curiously. Usually, Dean will greet her at the door. The boy was such a sweetheart, and she knew Mary missed her son very much too.

"He went to therapy. I think he'll be home soon." Sam said almost unsure, as he pulled out the meat from the fridge.

"I thought it was over. Why did he go back?" Ellen looked at Sam who quickly looked away.

"Because of me," he said quietly. Ellen walked over to his nephew and laid her comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Talk things out with him, try not to keep things to yourselves. Be patient with each other. I'm here if any of you need me." Ellen advised as she touched her nephew's face lovingly.

"Thanks, Aunt, oh, by the way, I got a job at the pub where Gabe worked. I start tomorrow." Sam added excitedly, but the look on his aunt's face made him stopped smiling.

"Why? Aren't you happy for me?" Sam asked frowning.

"You had wanted to be a lawyer, Sammy. I'm so sorry, son." Ellen began to tear up, that Sam hurriedly hugged his desolated aunt. He was sorry too.


	24. Chapter 24

"Wow...that's certainly not a boring love story," Dean said in pure amazement.

"Well, now that you know my secret, I hope you can keep it hidden for the rest of your life. I have a rep to protect!" Cas laughed at his own joke. 

"Oh, definitely, Doc! We won't wanna lose that prestigious title now, would we?" Dean countered with widened eyes staring at the dark haired man before him.

Castiel laughter turned to a warm smile as he said, "You have beautiful eyes, Dean." 

Dean blushed and said, "Thank you, you too, Cas."

Castiel just smiled and said, "I had a great time. Can we do this again, sometimes?" 

"I'd love to, Cas. Here's my number. Call me whenever, alright?" Dean offered, smiling as he wrote Ellen's number on a napkin. 

"Thanks and you can call me whenever too. You still have my card, right?" Castiel asked gently.

"Yes, I have, thank you. Think I should go now, Cas. Sammy must be wondering where I went." he confessed.

"Yeah. Let's walk back to your car. I'm going back to the office. Hope Anna's still there, oh my it's almost seven!" Cas looked at his watch. They've been there for four hours! 

"I'm sorry I kept you from your job, Cas," Dean said as the doctor opened the door for him.

"I'm not sorry. I'm glad you did." Castiel said, and Dean's heart warmed at the sincerity of his words. So he just smiled at Castiel, can't find any words to say.

When he got home, Sam and Ellen were waiting at the dining table. 

"Hey, guys! I'm sorry for being late. Would have come back earlier if I knew there's steak for dinner!" Dean said apologetically.

Sam got up from his seat and hugged his fiance. "It's okay, Dean. How was the session?" he asked gently.

"It's good, thanks." Dean gave him a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away and sat down at the table. His heart stammered a little. That was his first lie to Sam. Sam watched him go but didn't say anything. He walked to Dean and kissed the top of his head before settling himself down next to his fiance. Ellen just watched the young men interacted with each other. She could see that Sam's making an effort to remedy their relationship but Dean seemed a little nervous in her opinion. 

"I got a job, Dean." Sam said smiling. "You did?!" Dean replied in surprise.

"Yeah! I'm working with Gabriel at the pub tomorrow evening. Why don't you come, Dean? Charlie and Jess will be there too!" Sam chirped.

Dean's face fell a little and then he asked, "I thought you're going to continue your internship, Sam?"

Sam straightened in his seat as he calmed himself down quick. "You know that's not going to happen, Dean," he said solemnly. 

"Why not, Sammy? I know you could do it, you just have to try, babe." Dean persuaded gently.

"No. You don't know Dean. I can't remember a lot of things. How can you even consider me going back to that?!" Sam said heatedly. He didn't mean to raise his voice, but his condition made him lose control at times. The throbbing in his head started, and he pressed his temples hard to subdue the pain.

Dean quickly rushed to his side and held Sam's head in his hands. Ellen got up to get his medicine in the cabinet.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to yell at you. I love you." Sam apologized profusely in Dean's arms.

"No, baby. I'm so sorry too, my love. Here, take these." Dean handed him the pills, and Sam popped them into his mouth and gulped the water in one go. He then grabbed Dean's face and kissed his mouth. "I love you, so much," he said, and Dean smiled before saying the same to him.

"Let's eat," Dean said, and Sam nodded readily. Dean took a bite of the steak and said, "Sammy! Oh God! This is so good!" he moaned with his full mouth. Ellen and Sam laughed softly at him, and they too, moaned happily when they took a bite from their plates.

The rest of the night went smoothly without any arguments from the lovers, and Ellen was grateful for that. She hoped that things would only get better for them from that day, but that wasn't the case.

The true test of their love had only just begun.


	25. Chapter 25

Castiel sat in his office looking at Dean's file. His mind strayed to the conversation he had with his former client and then he smiled to himself. 

It has been a very pleasant afternoon for the both of them, and Castiel can't wait for their next meeting. He immediately stopped his train of thoughts and held his hand over his heart. Castiel's falling in love for the second time in fifteen years.

Cas was laughing when he told Dean about his first love in college. It was an awkward and strange affair he had with his lecturer, the striking Mr. Corrigan from Ireland, who was twice his age. Cas was too naive at that time to know what's going on till he found out that the man he loved was already married and a nervous closet case.

His friends thought that Cas was using his professor for grades, but it's the other way round. The man used Castiel for his own sick needs instead. He even tried to make Castiel fuck him while he was wearing a red lacy underwear. That's when Cas drew the line and broke off their relationship of six months.

Castiel removed his glasses from his face and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Anna told him about Sam's appearance at his office, and Cas wondered if he saw them at the cafe. He felt sad all over suddenly.

Dean belonged to Sam. He came to Castiel for help, and he can't betray their friendship. It's like history repeated itself all over again. But falling for someone unattainable again wasn't funny this time. 

He looked at the napkin with the number Dean wrote on and threw it in the bin. Castiel's not going to initiate a relationship, no matter how much he wanted to.


	26. Chapter 26

"I'm excited to see you work and meet our friends tomorrow," Dean confessed as he faced Sam in bed. It was raining outside that they turned in earlier. Rain was rare in their area, and it was pouring outside. 

"I'm excited too sweetheart. We're going to have lots of fun." Sam said as he pulled Dean closer and kissed his lips softly.

"Dean.." Sam whispered when he pulled away. "Yeah?" Dean asked looking at his fiance's features in the dark. The sound of rain almost drowned Sam's voice.

"I went to your doctor's office today, but you weren't there. The assistant told me that you've canceled your sessions, is that right?" Sam asked.

"You came? Why?" Dean asked. Why didn't Sam told him earlier? He thought curiously.

"I thought that maybe I could join you, but you weren't there. Why did you cancel, my love?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Cas, err, Dr. Novak wanted to help. He said that since I just finished my three months session and I was doing okay, he would do it pro bono. Just talk about my problems with him off the record. We became friends, Sammy, after our last session. You don't mind right do you?" Dean said carefully. He was afraid of what Sam would say.

"So....you went out with him?" Sam asked.  
"Yeah....just to the cafe near his building," Dean answered.  
"What did you two talk about?" Sam probed.  
"About us. How to deal with our problems?" Dean supplied.  
"Anything else..?" Sam probed further.  
"What do you mean, Sammy?" Dean asked though he knew the answer.  
"Nothing, Dean," Sam murmured. Dean didn't pursue the subject and buried his face into the crook of his fiance's neck.  
"Let's sleep, baby," his voice muffled.

Sam, perturbed that Dean didn't press him for more information. He has this strange gut feeling that Dean was hiding something, but he let it go this time. There are so many things Sam wanted to ask him, but he knew now isn't the right time. They were too exhausted from their heated arguments last night that caused them to lose sleep.

"I love you, Dean. Please be faithful to our love." Sam whispered sadly, as he rubbed Dean's back.

"....always..Sammy.." Dean's muffled reply before he fell asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Sam heard the heavy moaning sounds coming from his bed. He couldn't believe his eyes. Dean, naked, was lying on his back writhing with pleasure as Michael thrusts his organ deep inside him. Dean's legs wrapped around Michael's waist as he surged his body up to meet Michael's relentless sharp thrusts. Sam shouted at them to stop but neither paid him any attention. Dean was begging Michael to rape him, and Sam screamed louder in agony. He tried pushing Michael away, but his body won't budge. Then Dean turned to look at him and whispered, "Don't look, Sammy. Please turn away." Dean then turned back to his rapist and moaned louder, "Ahhhhh!! Cas!!" Sam was shocked when he saw it was Castiel now thrusting into Dean faster and harder. "Stop!!! Stop this!! STOP!!" but Castiel ignored him and kept on fucking into his quivering fiance, vigorously. Incensed, Sam knocked Castiel's body down hard and strangled his neck. He yelled, "I SAID STOP!!!!!!!! STOPPPPPPPPP!!!!"

The sound of persistent knockings and Ellen's hysterical voice shouting outside his bedroom door made Sam stop his ministrations instantly. He looked down in horror as he realised what had happened. Sam had strangled his fiance in his sleep. He had a nightmare that both Michael and Castiel fucked his fiance. Sam quickly removed his hands from Dean's neck and his fiance gasped for air before sputtering out loud coughs. Sam was in shell shock till he heard Ellen shouted again, "Open this door, Sammy!!!"and Sam finally scrambled out of bed to open the door before rushing back to bed and held Dean close.

"PLEASE GET ME A GLASS OF WATER, QUICK!!" he yelled at his aunt who ran to the kitchen at his request. Dean coughed louder and patted his chest as he still couldn't breathe properly due to panic distress.

"I'm so sorry, my love!! So sorry, so sorry, so sorry!!" Sam cried as he rocked a trembling Dean in his arms. Dean couldn't utter a word as he was in shock.

"Here!!" Ellen handed the glass of water to Sam and turned on the light on the night stand. Sam quickly put the glass between Dean's lips and urged him to drink.

"Oh God, Sammy!What have you done?!" Ellen cried as she saw Dean's pale face in her nephew's arms.


	28. Chapter 28

They sat at the kitchen table. Dean had fallen asleep after taken some sleeping pills as he was too traumatized. His fiance almost killed him in his sleep. 

"Sammy, please get help quick. I don't know what will happen to Dean if I didn't hear your screams." Ellen cried as she reached for her nephew's hands.

Sam was beside himself. He couldn't stop crying since the horrible incident, cursing himself as he hit his head, hard, again and again with his fists. A migraine has returned, but Sam didn't care for he deserved the excruciating pain after what he had done that to the person he loved so dearly. 

"I almost kill him, aunt!! I almost kill him!!! I can't!! I just ca!!" Sam wailed as he buried his head in his hands on the kitchen table.

Ellen cried harder as she walked over to her nephew and held him close.  
"Calm down, Sammy. You need to calm down, son or you will suffer a relapse." 

Sam looked up at his aunt and said, "I should've died! I'm half a man! I'm turning into a monster, aunt! I don't think I can go on anymore!" the throbbing in his head hurt the more he spoke.

"What are you saying, Sammy!!?!!" Ellen shook Sammy's shoulder and asked alarmingly.

"I think I should die," Sam confessed as he dried his tears frustratedly and walked to the bathroom.

"YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, YOU HEAR ME?!! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!" Ellen shouted angrily at him. Sam, caught by surprise, turned to face his aunt. 

"You're not going anywhere as long as we're here, Sammy." Ellen implored sadly as Sammy fell into his aunt's loving embrace.


	29. Chapter 29

Dean woke up the next morning to find Sam sitting next to him in bed. He was fully dressed, and his eyes were red from crying. Dean almost forgot what happened to him last night till he saw the distraught look on his fiance's face and then the memories came flooding his mind.

"Dean, I'm so sorry, my angel. Please forgive me." Sam lowered himself to look at Dean's face closely. He swept Dean's bangs away and kissed his forehead softly.

Dean just stared at him, still bewildered about the incident early that morning.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked curiously.

"I'm going to the hospital, Dean to get more help on my condition. Do you want to come with me, baby? I want the doctor to check you too and see if I caused you any injury. Please say you'll forgive me, my love." Sam pleaded as fresh tears forming in his eyes.

"I forgive you, Sammy, but I'm not coming with you. I want to sleep some more if you don't mind?" Dean asked.

"Thank you, Dean and no, I don't mind. Sleep well my love, I will come back soon, I promise, before I go to work, alright?" Sam said as he kissed Dean's forehead again.

"Sure, Sammy. Take care and good luck." Dean said with a small smile.

"I love you, Dean. Bye." Sam kissed him one more time and left.

The minute he heard the front door shut, Dean picked up his phone and dialed Castiel's number.

"Hello, this is Dr. Novak speaking. " Castiel answered.

"Cas, it's Dean. I need to see you. Please, it's urgent." Dean said in a voice laced with fear.

"What's the address, Dean? I'll come and get you." Castiel quick reply.


	30. Chapter 30

The doorbell rang, and Ellen went to get it. Dean rushed down the stairs, to answer but was surprised to see her there.

"Ellen? You're home?" Dean asked.  
"Yes, Dean. I took an emergency leave to watch over you. Wait, sweetie, let me see who's there." Ellen said as she went to open the front door.

It was Castiel and Ellen asked him, "Yes? Can I help you?"  
"Hello, I'm Castiel Novak. I'm here for Dean. Is he in?" he asked Ellen, who then answered yes before turning to look at Sam's fiance.  
Dean then walked towards them and introduced Ellen to his former doctor. Castiel returned the gesture and said to Dean, "Do you wanna talk here or?"  
Ellen looked at the both of them curiously, and Dean replied,"Can we go somewhere else?"

"Okay, I'll just wait in the car then. Nice meeting you, Ellen." Castiel said, and Ellen spoke before he walked away.

"Dr. Novak, please take a seat first. I need to speak to Dean alone if you don't mind?" Ellen smiled as she pointed the couch to Castiel.

"Sure..and thank you." Castiel then sat while Ellen motioned for Dean, to come with her to the kitchen.

"Dean? How are you feeling?" Ellen asked as she checked the bruise on Dean's neck.  
"I'm okay, Ellen, thanks, but I have to go." Dean said.

"Then, why is your doctor here, Dean?" Ellen asked gently.  
"I called him earlier. I need to talk about what happened, Ellen." Dean explained.

"Listen, sweetie, I'm sorry to ask you this but how come you're not doing it in his office?" Ellen asked.  
"Ellen, Castiel's not my doctor now, just a friend and I need his advice right now," Dean confessed.

"You can talk to me too, Dean. I'm here for you and Sammy." Ellen implored.  
"Ellen, I know and I'm very grateful. Castiel's out there, and I don't want him to keep waiting. I'm sorry, Ellen." Dean said apologetically.

"Did Sam know?" Ellen asked again.  
"No, and please don't tell him, Ellen." Dean pleaded as he held both her hands.

"Is there something going on with you and Castiel?" she asked worriedly.  
"No Ellen, I swear we're just friends. I love Sammy, but I'm afraid of what's happening to him lately. I hope you understand." Dean said as he searched Ellen's concerned face.

"I do, Dean. But please be home before Sam does. I want to talk to the both of you too, about this." Ellen reminded, and Dean embraced the woman who was like his own mother.  
"I will. See you later, Ellen. I love you." Dean kissed her cheeks and ran out to meet Castiel, who stood up upon seeing him.

They left after saying goodbye to Ellen.

Ellen watched them leave in Castiel's car and prayed that Dean was telling her the truth because she wasn't sure about the handsome doctor who went out of his way from his busy schedule just to talk to his former patient.

Sam will be devastated if Dean fell for another man. It's not her nephew's fault what happened to him, and she cursed the attackers for making the boy's lives a living hell.


	31. Chapter 31

Castiel has been listening quietly to Dean without uttering a word. He wasn't at all surprised to hear that he was part of that dream, the compromising part. 

The doctor expected Sam to have delusional thoughts after the injury. The man's powerless over his own subconscious mind and that's why Castiel told Dean to help Sam eliminate his insecurities and hatred. 

They would be ingrained in the latter's brain forever if he didn't try to fight them. The problem was that Sam and Dean haven't had any intercourse since the incident, and this will not help Sam's emotional mind to recover any time soon.

It wasn't an easy thing for Castiel to encourage Dean to initiate intimacy with his fiance. It hurt his heart so much, but he put on his professional attitude and detached himself from his feelings. Dean insisted that it wasn't him but Sam who refused go further in bed. All they did was kissing these past months. Every time, Dean tried to get beyond that, Sam would stop and pushed him away before reminding him of the rape over and over again. 

"I don't know what to do, Cas. What if he managed to kill me again in my sleep? I will die, and he will go to jail! And that will be the end of us! Our story and I truly can't do this anymore!" Dean cried, and Castiel immediately pulled him into his arms. They were in his car on top of the mountain facing the San Fernando Valley below.

Castiel hushed him gently and rubbed his back. He understood how Dean felt as he had treated some patients who had the same problems. Men and women and few ended up with broken relationships while the rest surrendered to their fates. Some patients like Sammy however, chose to end their life, and some ended in mental institutions, but Castiel won't share this information with Dean. It will alarm him further.

"You said that Sam is seeking help at the hospital, and that's a good sign Dean, cause he's trying. I know it sounded morbid if I said that it will happen again but let's hope that it won't. Why don't you go with him to these sessions, he will heal much better with your involvement." Castiel advised. Dean nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry, Cas for burdening you again with my problems." Dean pulled away, and Castiel brushed the tears from his face.

"Hey, it's okay. We are friends, remember? That's what I'm here for, for you." Castiel stated sincerely. He loved Dean, but he was first and foremost his friend. 

"Thank you, Cas. How can I ever repay your kindness?" Dean asked sadly.

"With breakfast? I'm hungry." Castiel teased, and Dean laughed softly.

"You're the cheapest shrink I've ever met, Dr. Castiel Novak," Dean said, and Castiel just smiled warmly at him.

Ellen heard the sound of an engine outside the house, and she sighed with relief thinking it was Castiel sending Dean home. It was almost noon and Sam would be back soon, so she rushed to open the door, but it wasn't them. It was Bobby Singer who came to visit the boys. Ellen welcomed him in and told Bobby that the boys were out and be home soon. 

They had lunch while waiting for Sam and Dean to return.


	32. Chapter 32

Ellen told Bobby about the boys situation, and the man hung his head in silence.

"What's wrong, Bob?" Ellen asked worriedly when she realized that he's crying.

Bob rubbed his face hurriedly, lamented, "It's all my fault, Ellen. I should've installed the alarm in that house or check on them daily or maybe surround the area with more lights. This wouldn't have happened to them boys if I had been more diligent."

"Bobby, it wasn't your fault. You wouldn't have known. You said so yourself that it was the safest place where everybody knew everybody. Ellen assured the distraught man before him. Bobby was a kind man, and his visit wasn't only for the boys but to help them in this time of need.

"Ellen, I want you to accept this as part of my apologies. I hope it helps pay the hospital bills or anything that you needed. Tell me if it isn't enough and I will try to get some more." Bobby handed her the wad of money in her hand.

Ellen, caught by surprise, pushed the notes back in Bobby's hand. "No, Bobby, you've helped enough when we were there. Thank you but no. We can manage eventually. Sam got a job at the pub tonight so thank you, thank you so much. Your friendship is more than enough for us, Bobby." 

Bobby ignored her and put the money in an empty jar on the counter. "They're yours, and I don't wanna hear a word, understood, missy?" he said sternly, and Ellen silently obeyed. There's no messing with this mountain man, she thought. 

"Thank you, Bobby," Ellen said and smiled softly at the sweet man.

"Your welcome. Now where's the dang boys?" he muttered and walked towards the porch. Ellen followed him and saw Sam heading towards Bobby with a big smile on his face. 

Ellen's heart began to beat anxiously. Dean's not home yet.


	33. Chapter 33

"Bobby!! When did you get here? How are you?" Sam greeted cheerfully, as he pulled the man into a hug by the door.

Bobby laughed and replied,"I'm fine, just got here an hour ago. How are you doing boy?!" 

"I'm trying Bobby, I wanna get better. I'm so happy to see you!" Sam said and hugged Bobby again. 

Ellen just watched and smiled warmly at the men. Her eyes kept looking at the road ahead for any signs of Castiel's car. 

Sam who thought Dean was home because his car was parked there called out to his fiance, "Dean! I'm home, baby! I got good news!" 

"Sam...Dean's not home." Ellen said gently.

"Oh? Where did he go? My car's out there." Sam asked quizzically, as he looked at his blue sedan outside.

Ellen didn't know what to do because she promised Dean not to tell but she was saved from explaining when Castiel's car parked right outside her house.

Sam walked fast towards the vehicle and saw Castiel. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" Images of Castiel fucking his fiance resurfaced as the man climbed out of the car to answer, but Dean beat him to it and said, "Sammy, Cas is going back to his office." 

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO, DEAN??!" Sam yelled. He felt the blood rushed to his brain as he tried to process the scene before him. It was the second time Sam saw them together without his knowledge. Castiel was trying to explain, but Dean held the man back, literally pushing him back to his car. 

"No, Dean let me explain," Castiel said hurriedly, as he pushed Dean aside gently and walked towards the tall man. 

"Sam, please calm down. Dean and I went to talk about certain things that concerned both your situation. I was free this morning, so I came over when he called, and he sounded distressed" Castiel explained calmly, but Sam wasn't pleased with what he heard.

"YOU'RE NOT HIS FUCKING DOCTOR ANYMORE!!! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR MY FIANCE YOU HEAR ME??!!!" Sam warned louder as he advanced on the doctor.

Dean rushed forward and stopped his fiance who was ready to pounce at Castiel.

"Sam!! Sammy! Calm down, please! Let's talk inside, please, baby, come on!" Dean pushed Sammy towards the house. 

"Sam, we didn't do anything but talk about the existing problems. I assure you." Castiel reiterated firmly. Sammy's irrational behavior troubled him as he looked at Dean, worriedly. Castiel was worried for the both of them.

Sam pushed Dean's body away suddenly and ran towards Castiel, shouted angrily,"WHAT KIND OF FOOL DO YOU THINK I AM, HUH?!!" then he punched the doctor hard on his face. Bobby rushed forward and grabbed Sammy from behind. Sammy struggled from the restraint, shouting at Bobby to let him go. Dean ran to Castiel and helped him back on his feet. 

"Cas, I'm so sorry, but you have to leave, now, please.." Dean pleaded, and Castiel nodded sadly. "Be careful Dean. Promise me you call if anything happens. I'm so worried about you."  
Ellen came forward and tried to talk sense into her nephew who kept shouting at Castiel, to leave.

"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY FIANCE, ASSHOLE!!" Sam cried, and then he screamed in agony as the stabbing pain in his head begun. Bobby was at lost of what to do as Sam began thrashing and hit his own head hard for the pain to stop. Castiel, who was about to leave, ran to Sammy and held the hurting man in his arms.

"Dean, get me some water and his painkiller now," Castiel ordered, and Dean obeyed instantly.  
Together, Bobby and Castiel carried Sam inside the house and laid him on the couch. Castiel did a quick examination and felt that it's not necessary to call the ambulance. So he stayed by Sam's side and waited for his pain, to subside. Bobby stayed with them that night.

Ellen and Dean watched Sammy helplessly with tears in their eyes.


	34. Chapter 34

Sam's pain subsided and when he saw Castiel there he began to rampage again but this time, the doctor won't let him. He pushed both Sam's hands down above his head and said in a firm tone.

"Don't give in to your anger, Sam or you will just trigger another attack. Believe me, when I say nothing is going on between Dean and I. I cared for him as a friend, and I want you to know that he loved you so much, Sam, and he came to me for advice on how to work on both your situation. I'm sorry that we met behind your back, but Dean wanted it to be confidential because he didn't want to worry you, Sam." 

Sam stared at the doctor's bruised face and said in embarrassment, "Sorry, I'm so sorry for hitting you. I don't know what's wrong with me, doc." 

Castiel smiled as he released Sam's hands and said, "Please call me Castiel. Do you still feel the pain now?" Castiel asked as he did a quick check on Sam again.

"No, it went away. I'm sorry, Cas," Sam murmured, and Castiel said it's okay because he understood. He then offered to refer Sam to one of the renowned neurosurgeon in the city. Sam thanked him, and Castiel excused himself to go to the bathroom before going back to the office for his next appointment.

Dean then walked to the couch and kissed his fiance. "Feel better now babe?" 

"Much better. I'm so sorry, my love. Please forgive me," Sam said as tears fell to the sides of his face.

"I love you, Sammy," Dean said as he rested his head on Sam's chest. 

Ellen waited for Castiel, to emerge from the bathroom and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Thank you so much for your help, Castiel. We owed you a lot for your kindness." Ellen said sincerely.

"I've not done much but thank you too for your kind words," Cas replied humbly.

"Do you want to eat something?" Ellen offered kindly.

"That's a nice offer but thank you, Ellen. I have to get going soon." Castiel politely declined. 

He drank the coffee and was about to wash it in the sink when Ellen took it away from his hand. "It's okay, I got it," Ellen said, smiling.

"I'm going now. Thanks again for the coffee." Castiel said, and Ellen asked him again before he leaves, "You loved Dean, don't you?"

Castiel just smiled sadly and nodded. Ellen could see the heartbreak in his eyes.


	35. Chapter 35

Ellen watched as Dean bade goodbye to Castiel outside at his car. They stood at an acceptable distance away from each other. Castiel was a nice gentleman, and he knew his limit where their friendship was concerned. Especially when Sam's still in his vulnerable state. Ellen wondered if they will ever see each other again and she sighed. Life can be so unjust sometimes. 

"Thank you so much, Cas, and I'm sorry for what happened. I wish you let attend to that bruise on your face." Dean said with a kind smile.

"It's okay Dean, don't worry about it. At least I have an excuse to give to my patients later." Castiel joked, and Dean just smiled wanly at his dear friend.

"What's the matter?" Castiel asked when he saw the sadness in Dean's green eyes.

"Cas... I don't want to do this, but I have to." Dean said with a broken voice. He's on the verge of crying.

"Dean...just say it please." Castiel coaxed gently. 

"I....I...I don't think we could see each other anymore." Dean confessed so softly that it was almost inaudible.

Dean's words stabbed Castiel's heart that he forced himself to remain calm, but the tears in his blue eyes portrayed his real emotions.

They looked at each other silently before Castiel said, "I understand. Please take good care of yourself, Dean. I will never forget you." 

They gave each other a quick hug and then Castiel left. It took Dean so much effort to compose himself before returning to the house. Luckily, Sam was in the shower, getting ready for work. 

"Dean...?" Ellen called out to him, and he fell into her loving embrace. Dean had sacrificed his friendship with Castiel for Sammy's sake.

Dean's parents came to visit them soon after, and they were happily reunited with Bobby. They all decided to go with their kids to the pub. 

Gabriel was already working behind the counter talking animatedly with Charlie and Jessica. He greeted the families the moment he saw them enter the establishment. He was pleasantly surprised at the size of the group and settle them at the largest table near the bar. Sam and Dean excused themselves and sat with the girlfriends at the bar.

The earlier event was momentarily forgotten as the atmosphere altered everyone's mood instantly.

John and Mary had fun talking to Ellen and Bobby while the kids were laughing with one another at the counter. Dean kept his sadness well hidden deep inside him as he listened to the jokes that Charlie made. 

After a few minutes, Gabriel had to pull Sam away from his group to start his duties for that night. Sam proved to be a fast learner, and he did his job well as a barback with little supervision from his cousin. Gabriel was glad that Sam felt comfortable working together.

When Jessica was talking away with Gabriel, Charlie turned to Dean and asked, "Dean, is everything okay with you and Sammy?"  
"Yeah, everything's good. But Sammy still have to undergo a few routine check-ups, though." Dean replied readily, as he gulped his beer. Charlie just stared at him doubtfully. 

"What?" Dean asked as he felt the weight of her stare.  
"You can't fool me, Dean Winchester." she said.

"Fool you? Whatever you mean by that?" Dean laughed nervously, as he took another gulp.  
"Spit it out, Dean. Tell me the truth. Is everything really alright?" she probed.

Dean looked into his friend's eyes and relented. 

They didn't realize that Jessica had been listening to their conversation.


	36. Chapter 36

After Dean had confided to his best friend, they excused themselves to sit with the adults. But before they left the counter, Dean gave Sam a kiss and praised him for doing a good job.

"I'll wait for you till your shift ends, Sammy. I'm so proud of you." Dean said and kissed his fiance longer. Charlie and some other patrons made lewd catcalls and Gabriel whistled loudly at the romantic couple. Dean brushed them off and walked towards the grinning adults at the table. The quickly made room for the youngsters to sit. 

"I'm so glad that you're doing better, Sammy," Jessica said as Sam wiped the beer mugs clean in front of her. Gabriel was busy attending to the other patrons at the other end.

"I'm still working on getting better, Jess but thanks anyway," Sam replied as he continued working.

"You know I did counseling too if you need one. Part of the training in my new course. We could help each other." Jessica joked, and Sam laughed. 

"That will be awesome. When do we start?" Sam asked seriously this time. He aimed to get better and appreciated Jessica's offer to help at a fraction of the price. The pub paid him enough for his household needs but not the cost of his rehabilitation. Sam grabbed any affordable assistance he could get.

"Now?!" Jessica offered, and Sam laughed at her enthusiasm. They almost dated in high school and then Dean came along. Sam found out that he was indeed bisexual at that time. Sam knew that Jessica still have feelings for him, but she never made a move on him once he started dating Dean. 

He wished that she would open her heart to return Charlie's affections but knew that Jess doesn't swing that way. If Dean never existed, Jessica would make a perfect girlfriend. They talked longer and once in a while Sam would glance at Dean at the table and smile at his fiance. 

And every time that happened Jessica would look away.


	37. Chapter 37

"Sam's doing good over there. Job's keeping him busy." Bobby pointed to Sam at the bar. Everyone at the table agreed. It's good to see his fiance out of the house and mingled with their friends. To see him smile and laugh again made Dean happy. 

Jessica was having so much fun talking to Sam that she didn't want to leave the bar. Dean knew that she was still smitten with Sam, but he knew where his fiance's heart lay. Sam's been stealing glances at Dean any chance he got, and it made Dean blushed. His fiance's looking at him now.

"Dean!" Charlie shouted in his ear, and he turned at her in surprise,"What?!"

"Your mom's talking to you! God! You're so distracted!" Charlie chuckled softly.

Dean gave her the evil eye and looked at his mom, "Sorry, mom. What is it you say?"

"It's okay, honey. I thought maybe you could arrange for Sam, to see Castiel for assessment? I think that he was really good, and you recovered well from your trauma with his counsel." Mary asked.

"Yes, he's excellent, but I don't think I'll be seeing him much again, mom," Dean explained quietly. 

"Oh? Why not?" Mary asked curiously, and Dean replied softly, "No reason."

Ellen interjected before Mary asked her son again, "Mary? Can you share with me the Kofta's recipe? Dean said they were delicious!" 

Dean looked up at Ellen, who pretended not to notice. "Sure, El. I'll give you a call tomorrow." Mary smiled and turned back to her son. Dean hastily excused himself to go to his fiance. Mary stared at his back with her mouth opened and then shut. It was obvious that Dean avoided her questions. Ellen asked Mary if she could come with her to the ladies. She wanted to tell her friend what happened to their sons earlier. It's hard to talk with the two men there.

"Hey, baby. Did you have a good time?" Sam asked as Dean approached the bar, smiling at his fiance.

"Yes, I did. Too much interrogation, though."Dean said, and both Sam and Jess laughed at him.

"How's work?" Dean asked Sam who said that he enjoyed every minute of it.

"They played really good songs here, I'm so glad!" Sam added as Dean sat next to Jessica.

"That's great, Sammy," Dean said. 

"Guess what? Jess is gonna help me with therapy." Sam announced.

"Oh yeah?" Dean replied as he looked at Jessica, who just smiled.

"That's great! When will you guys start?" Dean asked.

"Right now, actually. We stopped talking when you came." Sam was merely joking, but Dean was taken aback a little.

"Maybe I should leave you guys alone then huh?" Dean tried to joke back, but it's hard when he didn't' feel it.

"Yup! Move along, intruder!" Jessica added, and Sam laughed with her. Dean laughed too but less enthusiastic. He faked moping and about to leave when Sam pulled his arm over the counter.

"Hey, where are you going?" he asked the blond.

"Leaving you guys alone!" Dean chuckled softly at Sam.

"You're not going anywhere. I need you here." Sam whispered as he looked at Dean with want in his eyes.

"I guess I'm the one who should leave." Jessica gave them a small smile and walked towards the group at the table.

"I think she still has a crush on you, Sammy," Dean said, and Sam just shook his head.

"Nah!. She's only helping us, Dean," Sam assured, but Dean has his doubts. Jessica by no means an evil person, but she still cared for Sammy a lot even after all these years. 

Sam and Jess were the power couple before Dean moved to their high school. Sam was the captain of the basketball team, and Jessica was the head cheerleader. They were both straight A students and shared similar traits and interests. Everyone in school including their teachers expected them to end up together and then Dean moved in from Georgia.

The shy boy from the south. Some of the kids in school tried to bully him because of his sexual orientation, but Dean won't let them. His silent bravery was what attracted Sam at first, and Dean's oblivion about his own appearance. 

Dean intrigued Sam so much that he became desperate to obtain the blond's friendship. It took Sam a while to go beyond casual greetings with Dean till he finally worked up his guts one day and asked Dean out. Some of Sam's guy friends mocked him for his actions, and others just teased him endlessly, but it didn't matter to the tall, handsome boy because Dean had agreed to go out with him. One thing Sam was glad was he never dated Jessica or gave her any false hope or empty promises. Most of the time they hang out in a group.

Both Dean and Jessica didn't know that Sam had lost a chunk of memories from his past life. For Sam, it felt like his friendship with Jessica had just begun.


	38. Chapter 38

Gabriel, Sam, and Dean were the only ones left at the pub. Dean helped the cousins clean up the place. It was almost 2 in the morning when they bade goodbye to Gabriel and headed home.

"You know I've not told you the good news, Dean," Sam said to his fiance who's driving.

"What good news, Sammy?" Dean glanced at him.

"The doctor approved my request to increase my dosage," Sam smiled.

"Won't there be any side effects later? I mean the medicine you take now was pretty strong, babe." Dean cautioned.

"Yeah but my pain was getting stronger, Dean that's why I need to double my intake," Sam explained.

"The pain only emerged when triggered, Sammy. I think you should just try to lessen the stress, and you will be all right." Dean said carefully.

"What are you? A doctor? Or did Castiel gave you a crash course whenever you guys meet?" Sam rebuked. 

"Baby, please. I don't wanna fight." Dean pleaded exasperatedly.

"Me neither but I know my own condition, Dean." Sam insisted. 

Dean sighed and looked at Sammy, "Just promise you won't rely on the pills too much, Sammy. That's all I ask." 

"I promise, Dean, and I'm sorry for what I said just now." Sam looked at him apologetically.

"It's okay, Sammy, I understand," Dean muttered, and he realized that he had used the same words too frequently. They seemed automatic and less sincere every time he uttered them.

That night they made love for the first time in months, and while the making out was hot, the lovemaking was almost mechanical. Sam was holding back from giving Dean what he desired and what surprised him most was Sam clamped Dean's mouth shut to stifle his moans when he came. They stopped having sex after that night. If Dean was disappointed, he didn't show it.

Within a week, Dean landed a job as a marketing assistant in a private firm while Sam continued working at the pub at night. Their opposite schedules made them see less of each other, and slowly the arguments reemerged. 

Sam confided more and more to Jessica while Dean kept all his frustrations to himself. Dean didn't want to trouble his mother who was his usual confidante, so everyone thought that he and Sam are okay. 

Dean took up part time modeling while Sam was away at work at night. At first, Sam had no problems with Dean's other career and then he witnessed how friendly the photographer was with his fiance. He told Dean to end his gig, and Dean refused. The money that comes with it was too good to lose to Sam's unfounded jealousy.

The fights began, and Sam's headaches returned full force. He relied on the pills too much that Dean had to hide them from his fiance. Sam found out what he did and went out of control that he almost hit Dean with the tv remote if Ellen didn't shout at him to stop. Dean, in angry tears, threatened to leave the house, and Sam rushed to halt his fiance's actions and begged him for forgiveness. 

Dean thought that that was the last straw till he found Sam and Jessica alone together at the pub one night. He walked up to them and told Sam that it was all over between them.

Sam's pleading and tears didn't stop Dean from driving away into the night.


	39. Chapter 39

Dean drove around aimlessly in tears because he didn't know where else to go. He wanted to go home, but his mom might ask him questions that he can't answer. And then Dean thought of Gabriel, but the man was off duty that day, and Dean wouldn't want to bother him. 

Charlie went to bed early on weekdays, and the last person he could think of was Castiel, but he's too embarrassed to call him after all he's the one that ended their friendship. Defeated, Dean parked the car to the side and turned off the engine. 

Dean let out his anger and disappointment till there are no tears left for him to shed. He thought about what's happening between him and Sam. It's been only eight months since that incident, but it seemed like forever. 

His mind wouldn't stop replaying the scene he saw earlier. At first, he was surprised to see them alone there in the pub at an hour after closing time. Then Sam had laughed at something Jess said and then she touched his face. 

He saw Sam pulled her hand away gently, but he didn't say anything and just smiled at her, and that's when Dean realized that Sam chose to be with Jessica instead of him at home. 

The hypocritical bastard who always reminded Dean about faithfulness when he, in fact, was having fun with his so called friend/therapist/spare tire, behind Dean's back. 

Sam didn't even ask when Dean concluded his friendship with Castiel for the sake of their love. Jealousy and resentment took over Dean's rational mind that he walked up to them and ended their relationship. 

Sam was stunned at first, and then he hurriedly tried to reason with Dean. He held Dean's hands, but his fiance just pushed them away. Jessica explained that it was not Sam's fault that she came to the pub on her own accord but Dean, who was clearly disgusted with their excuses, left with Sam hot on his trails. 

He got into the car and left without looking back at Sam, who kept chasing after him till he was out of sight.

Dean stared bleakly at the darkness before him and started the car. He let the engine roar and waited for his mind, to settle. Dean's going to make himself disappear that night.


	40. Chapter 40

Sam was panicking when he didn't find his car at his house after Jess dropped him off. He ran into the house and called Mary who told him that Dean's not there either. Sam then called out Dean's name to be sure, but it was his aunt who rushed out of her room instead.

"Aunt Ellen! Did Dean came home just now?!" he asked anxiously the moment Ellen got downstairs. 

"No, Sam. He didn't. He told me he was going to meet you at the pub. Why Sam? What's the matter?" asked Ellen nervously. Sam couldn't stand still as he figured what to do next. He then rushed to the phone and called Gabriel.

"Gabe! I need to use your car!" he said as Ellen watched her nephew apprehensively. What had happened to Dean?!  
"Please, Gabe! I need to find Dean!!" Sam shouted into the phone.  
"Okay! Thanks, Gabe! Hurry!" then he hung up.

"Sammy! What happened to Dean??"Ellen implored as she turned Sam around to face her.

"Dean came to the pub and saw Jessica and me, but we didn't do anything, I swear! He must have thought something's going on since the pub's already closed and it was dark. I didn't know that Jess gonna come that night and wanna talk to me, and Dean saw us! He told me that's its' over and went away with the car. I ran after him, but he kept on going, and now he's not here! He's not at Mary's either, where could he be, Aunt Ellen?!!" Sam was so overwrought that he can't stay any longer in that house, so he waited outside for Gabriel to arrive. His cousin came within minutes, and he jumped in the car. He told Gabriel briefly what happened.

"Where do you think we can find him, Sam?" Gabriel asked after they drove further and further from Sam's home.

"I don't know Gabe just keep going!!!" Sam instructed impatiently.

Gabriel was getting agitated himself because there was no sign of Dean nor Sam's car anywhere. 

Dean was driving so fast with tears brimming in his eyes. His thoughts ran on the night, he was raped by Michael with a gun pointed at his head. Michael killed himself in front of him. Sam strangling his neck in his sleep that he almost died if not for Ellen and the recent argument that Sam almost threw the remote control at his head. Sam made him felt dirty in bed while having sex and Sam's adoring looks in the presence of the beautiful Jessica.

Sam didn't love him, he has no respect for him. There's no point repairing their relationship if these vital factors didn't exist anymore.

Dean's troubled mind made him drove recklessly, and when the car reached the end of the dark lane, he made a quick turn towards the highway.

Dean found out too late when he saw the oncoming traffic before him. He screamed in terror as he tried to avoid the passenger van heading his way but it was too late. They collided, and the impact sent both vehicles careened across the tarmac.

Time stood still for a moment till the sound of people screaming and rushing towards the overturned vehicles, trying to rescue the passengers. The driver of the passenger van was able to crawl out, right before his vehicle engulfed in flames. Dean was unconscious as rescuers tried to pull his trapped body behind the wheels. The men were racing against time as the fire from the van began to spread towards Dean's car. 

Gabriel and Sam were heading towards the highway when they heard the loud explosion and saw the billowy dark smoke gathered in the night air ahead of them.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story did not end here as I'm going to write the conclusion tomorrow afternoon Aloha time :))

They all waited outside the emergency room. The doctors said that Dean had suffered a considerable injury to his head, and might suffer from post-traumatic amnesia if the operation was successful. 

Sam began crying inconsolably after hearing the news. The remorse he felt was so profound that no comforting words from both his family and Dean's could calm him anymore. 

Sam's emotional distress triggered the sharp pain that began attacking his head, but he refused to take his medication and welcomed the punishment for what he had done. Ellen and the rest concerned over his worsening condition sought the nurses help immediately.

They attended to him, but Sam resisted their help and struggled to leave the room and run back to the emergency department where Dean was. It took two security guards to subdue the distraught man and sent him back to the nurses care.

John, Mary, and Ellen prayed for their boys as they held one another in tears. They can't accept the tragedy that fell on their children yet again. 

It was several hours later that Dean finally came out of surgery. He was taken immediately to the intensive care unit, and no one was allowed to visit him without the doctors' approval.

Sam's pain had subsided, and the nurses made him stay longer in bed. He kept asking Ellen if Dean was okay and she said yes. Sam began to cry again and muttered thank you's to the Lord while his aunt held him tight on the bed.

They were all allowed to visit Dean finally in the morning, though he remained unconscious. Luckily for Dean, the severity of his brain injury was moderate, so the doctor advised the family to wait another few more hours till he comes around.

"Sam, I didn't mean to bring this up right now, but you've got to get your act together and treat Dean right, son." Ellen pleaded, and Sam nodded readily.

"I know, Aunt. I've been too selfish, always worrying about my own condition and forgot that Dean had suffered too. I loved Dean so much and I want to marry him soon." Sam bawled onto his aunt's shoulder.

"You will, Sammy. You will." Ellen assured her nephew.

At around 10 am, Dean was beginning to regain consciousness, and surrounded by his parents, Ellen, Gabriel, and Sam. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at each and every one of them. There's not the slightest flicker of recognition on his face and then he shut his eyes again. 

Worried looks exchanged amongst the family at Dean's actions. The doctor had said that his memory loss could last from twenty-four hours to three days so they might have to wait again.

Each and every one of them took turns to kiss and wished him well before they left the room to give Sam some time alone with his fiance.

"Dean? It's me, Sammy. I'm so sorry for what had happened, and I hoped that you will forgive me, sweetheart. I wanted you to know that I never betrayed your trust and our love. Let me mend my errors and let me take care of you. Get well soon, baby and I will show you all the love that I got." Sam kissed Dean's bruised lips softly, and then his forehead followed by both his cheeks. 

He pulled the chair and sat by the bed. Sam never left Dean's side.


	42. Chapter 42

Dean looked at the faces around him and he remained stoic. It's been four hours since he shut his eyes and went to sleep. He knew that Sam stayed by his side all that time and he was somehow relieved because Sam has made his decision easier.

Dean saw the doctor called his father aside and his mom walked to his side, holding his hand. "Hey baby? How are you feeling?" she asked him gently as she stroked his cheek.

Of all the people in that room, his mother was the hardest to deceive but Dean has to do it because he has no choice. So he just nodded and stared at his mother who's face streaked with tears. She smiled softly at him then bent down to kiss her son. It almost break his resolve.

He saw Ellen, Gabriel, Charlie and Sam who stood watching him at the foot of the bed. Dean remained emotionless. The concern looks on their faces swelled his heart. These people loved and cared for him. Maybe he shouldn't drag this charade too long after all but for Sammy he has to.

One by one, they came to his side and said encouraging words, comforting words and of course, sweet words to him before they left him and Sam alone again.

Sam sat at the edge of the bed and held both his hands. 

"Dean? Do you remember us, sweetheart?" his fiance asked, his face filled with love and affection that Dean felt like crying but he kept his emotions in check. It wasn't easy and he has to remind himself why he's doing this. So Dean just shook his head slowly and kept staring at the forlorn looking man before him.

"It's alright, Dean. The most important thing was that you're okay and we will go through this, my love. We're going to be okay. I love you so much." Sam professed.

Dean just stared at his fiance and thought to himself.

'I love you too Sammy with all my heart and I've never change. Forgive me for what I'm doing now is only for our sake. If I don't remember a thing about us, you would not remind me of our misfortune again. This is the sacrifice I have to make for our love. For us.'

The End


End file.
